Women Lines

Womenlines wants to share this article on parenting by Pooja Kawatra Gupta with its readers. Pooja is a mother who is enjoying her motherhood period by sharing her experiences with a group(she has formed on orkut) of other mothers(1000 mothers approx) on orkut. Here goes the story-

The day Aayan was born we knew that we both have come a long way from just being good friend, as a lover, as a husband & wife and now as a parent .He has given the new meaning to our life.. we realize that as a first time parent there were lot of things which we will be learning everyday .

Just reminded me that ” Kids are teachers and we are student”

Every new day comes as a beautiful moment to cherish for the life long. The day when you saw your baby in scan reports, when baby took the shape, his tiny little hands & feet, his heartbeat and every time your heart beat you think for a moment is it my heartbeat or my baby..Then you just smile back and say he is my heartbeat .That’s one in a lifetime when you have two heartbeat ..

When you hold your baby for the first time and keep remembering many of his first few and the day he says Papa & Mumma..You are at top of this world ..!! Aren’t we waited for this long to hear these beautiful words .

We know that with every new generation parents wants to give best to their baby .Trust me it not only babies have change over a period of time , parenting has gone under huge change. In today’s world it’s not just mother who is taking are of babies at home.. Fathers are equally involved in all the activities..right from the doctors visit at Gynaecologist to vaccination for Baby, which definitely gives mothers sometime for themselves.

Though with raising your baby, parents hardly get anytime for themselves but believe me raising your baby together not only give your baby but yourselves a lifelong security and comfort that both yes we were always there with our kids in each and every step he took in his growing years.

I still remember the time when I was expecting as been a working mother & staying far away from our parents, a first time parents we had enough of queries in our mind.. Why my baby is crying, is he hungry , not well, is there anything which I am unable to understand and so on..
So, my this first hand experience with raising my little son Aayan gave me the inspiration to start a platform where not only we all mums come together to help and resolve each other queries but to become friends for a lifetime. This is when I started a community : Mums & Babies ,we are close to 1,000 mums.. today with love & support of all wonderful mums, who have come long way to share their valuable experience, the best of the tips.. Our little wonders have got friends as well..

 http://www.orkut.com/Main#Community?cmm=50694960

If you are a new Mom then join her community to share the warmth and happiness of one big family……

Womenlines welcomes Rupali Sarkhel Desai as a guest writer and is sharing her write-up about ’Fine Motor Skills in Kids’ with its readers! 

Twiddling your Thumbs as a toddler can take you far in life! 

My recent experience with a bunch of kids at my creative workshop led me to write this article on ‘Fine Motor Skills’. The workshop also made me realize the stark gender differences between children. One major realization was that girls are much faster than boys when it came to finishing their artwork/tasks. (already proven fact!)  It’s very easy to make sweeping statements like ‘boys are not interested in artwork as much as girls are.’  ‘Boys are too lazy’ ‘Boys are interested in more physical activity compared to girls’ not being too convinced by these stereotypes, I decided to dig deeper.

It was very easy to understand one simple fact – girls were able to somehow fold paper very well (we did origami @ the workshop). Boys took twice as much time to do the same. The very basics of  origami – which meant folding paper, led them to delay at every other stage, which led them to be disinterested eventually in the ‘artwork’ It was very easy to discern the fact that the development of fine motor skills is so crucial and weaknesses of the same can eventually affect a child’s self esteem. Come to think of this, one of the student’s mother also mentioned to me that her son is slow in writing but exceptionally quick in reading!!!   

What is Fine Motor Skills? (FMS) 

FMS involves the small muscles of the body that enable such functions such as writing, grasping small objects and fastening clothing. FMS involves strength, fine motor control and dexterity. (1) FMS can be defined as small muscle movements those that occur in the finger, in co-ordination with the eyes. (2) Lack of the same, can affect a child’s ability to eat, write, fold paper, wear clothes, etc. Which can eventually affect his self-esteem? 

If you have already recognized that your child could be lacking in this area, you need not worry. These skills can be developed with the right kind of activities over a period of time, love and acceptance, and loads of patience. Following are some practical ways to develop the same:- 

1)   ‘Grasping in the mind’ - Let the concept of ‘writing’ fit into your child’s mind through his hands. Best way to do that is simply showing him how to write in the air. Can start with writing alphabets in the air. (for toddlers you can start with shapes, and for little bigger kids you can follow it up with short words). Also this can be turned into a fun play by taking it a step further. Writing in your child’s palm/hand/back can not only be fun at the same time quite interesting. Next you should now encourage your child to do the same to you! This activity will help to trace his fingers. Finger tracing is crucial step to writing. Kids can do this even on textured surfaces like sand, mud, etc. Give them a plate full of rice and let them draw alphabets on them!

2)   Puffed rice (toddlers)- A very easy way to develop the ‘pincer grasp’ is to give puffed rice, titbits, cereals, etc in a bowl as a daily/weekly activity to your toddler/child. This helps to pick up small objects using your thumb and forefinger thereby using the smaller muscles in the fingers.

3)   Exercise – Simple exercise like opening and closing of palm, moving your fingers – playing abracadabra , moving each finger at a time, playing inchworms etc. Also playing regularly with the ball – fetch and throw helps a lot to build up those small muscles. Twiddling your thumbs with your toddler can go a long way in his FMS development

4)   Look out for toys/activities which claim to help in eye-hand co-ordination.

5)   Drawing /painting – Finger-painting is an excellent and fun way to work on the small finger muscles, which help in FMS. Fine tracing also can be introduced. All you need is a pencil, a book with good pictures and a tracing paper. Teach your child to trace objects from a book/magazine etc. This not only helps in learning to draw also helps to develop FMS. Spray painting with a toothbrush also is extremely effective. Try taking print-outs of template and cutting it out and spray painting on it. Can be fun activity. Lots of templates are available on the net. You can try for ex – http://www.dltk-kids.com/crafts/cartoons/zoo.html. This site has lots of templates of animals, cartoons, etc. Watch out for totally fun and crafty ideas !

6)   Placing and pasting activities -  place variety of forms eg blocks, felt, paper, string, yarn, cereal, cotton on outlines. Also you can encourage your child to match shapes, color, pictures to a page and paste them within the outlines.

7)   Dough/clay play - let your child squeeze, knead, pat, roll out dough. If you have moulds then it gets even more interesting for your child to try different veggies, food items, etc. A plastic toy knife can be more helpful to cut the dough (with adult supervision). A dough kit I have at home also has a mini extruder which helps to make spaghetti. My lil one finds this the most interesting of all.

8)   Everyday activities – this would include -

• 1. Buttoning shirts,
• 2. Zipping pants, bags,
• 3. Locking and unlocking door knobs,
• 4. Tying and untying ropes, strings etc, tying shoe laces,
• 5. Manipulating coins different sizes – piggy bank activity.
• 6. Opening and closing lids of jars,
• 7. Sweeping, washing dishes,
• 8. Trying to use spoon, fork, chopsticks while eating their favourite maggie can also go a long way.
• 9. Pinching bubble wrap between fingers…
• 10.Playing the piano
• 11. Playing with a squeeze/stress ball!
• 12. Bead making, punching holes in paper and connecting them with yarn.

DOING ANYTHING THAT REQUIRES SPECIFIC FINGER MOVEMENTS. Get your child to be more involved in housework, indirectly you will help him in developing FMS!

9)   Typing - is also an excellent way to develop FMS for older kids…. so handover your laptop for a while, mums! Don’t we teach our children always to share their toys? It’s time to share ours

Resources - A very important guideline to parents is to make the right kind of resources available to the child. The quality of resources can make a real difference in the actual learning ability of a child too. Bad/sad/cheap quality of colour pencils/crayons/sketch pens etc can make the child disinterested in creative activities sooner than you think. Variety is also equally important.             

 Vertical chalkboards; easels for painting; flannel boards; lite bright; magnet boards (or fridge); windows and mirrors; white boards, etc. Kids can also make sticker pictures; do rubber ink-stamping; use reusable vinyl stickers to make pictures; complete puzzles with thick knobs; use magna-doodle and etch-a-sketch as well. The benefits for these include: having the child’s wrist positioned to develop good thumb movements; they help develop good fine motor muscles; the child is using the arm and shoulder muscles.

There are occupational therapists who also help to do the same, incase you think your child could do some good with extra help. 

With time, patience, positive assurance and encouragement your child will be on his way to grasp Fine Motor Skills!!!

Rupali Sarkhel Desai

While I have been spending the last 2 weeks of December 2009 just relaxing and spending time with my family, especially my little girl, I have witnessed the frenzy of Christmas shoppers in both the cities of Singapore and Malaysia – the two cities I am currently based in.

I work with a lot of women in my field of training in Personal Image and Empowerment and I have discovered that many women are very concerned about their appearances and how they can beautify themselves better.

This leads me to the topic on personal brands and labels. Whether we like or not we are constantly judging people by their looks on the outside. We have been guilty of branding others based on education, looks, weight, “perceived intelligence”, colour of the skin, colour of their hair, height, wealth, culture, who we marry, the bags we carry etc etc. We are constantly branding others and in turn are branded branded branded.

Companies who sell consumer products know just how to tap this emotion of insecurity to further promote their products.

Women I work with in my training are concerned about what others think of them especially how they look like. Often they are unhappy when others misjudge them based on their outer appearance and want to know how to make themselves appear “IN”. Male prisoners I work with also have an insecurity issue about how society will brand them after they leave prison. They want to know how to fit in, how to re-brand themselves away from their criminal past and how to be accepted. Executives and CEOS that I work with also want to learn how to make themselves look more trustworthy, approachable yet representable of their position and to basically learn how to fit in better with their group.

Basically this is represents human behaviour and in today’s highly society, people are getting even more concerned with how they are perceived by others. From my experience, women particularly are more concerned about their image and how others in the society see them. Again, whether we like it or not, we are always branded by others. My take on this? Brand yourself first before others brand you…and do not allow yourself to be branded by what material things you have or wear.

So how do you brand yourself and what should your brand be? Well, the vision is YOURS.

1. First of all, what is the industry that you want to brand yourself in when it comes to your career? When you stay in an a certain industry, people will remember you as the person who bakes cakes, or the entrepreneur mom, or the lady who organises events, etc. You want to be remembered as someone people can associate with a particular industry. The danger of people who moves around too much across industries often is when people cannot associate her as someone committed in her career…and that would be her “brand” !

2. Who is your target audience? Who are you basically branding yourself for? Is it for your work? For your customers? Friends? How do you want yourself to be perceived by them? Always remember that your audience will remember you based on the first time you presented yourself to them so be yourself, be honest and be comfortable. Often people are not themselves the first time they meet new people that they get comments like, “you know, the first time we met you we thought you were…….., but now, wow! You’re not at all like that..” It sounds like a praise, but really, it is a message that what we project may not be who we really are. This can go against you in the future when you are in a job interview, meeting new people or presenting for the first time to a group of potential clients.

3. Which of your personality traits and passions will resonate with your target audience? Similarities always make people feel closer together so highlight the similarities whether in the language and “slang” you use, or clothes that you wear. However, always keep in mind to be yourself. Do not put on a fake accent your lie about your background. A person does not have to learn lie detection skills to feel a fake.

4. What is the most important skill the target audience should know about? When you can relay this message through your work, through promoting your brand to others, this skill will remain in the minds of your target audience.

5. What makes you credible? Integrity, responsibility, commitment are values that people will remember you by. A strong personal brand is when a person hears your name or sees you, a certain positive feeling or thought comes into play. This feeling or emotion that others feel about you is that brand that you carry. Remember, whatever comes out of your actions, your mouth, your thoughts and reactions creates this brand called “YOU”. If you constantly say things that are not reflected in your actions or the results that you show constantly, your brand becomes “untrustworthy”.

How do create reinforce your brand through your demeanour ?

1. Dress according to how you want to be perceived

2. Always take care of your personal hygiene. Often times, people dress well and say all the right things but the two major deal breakers are bad breath and body odour. Somehow these overtake a person’s good personal brand.

3. Do you look rested ? Women have this advantage with makeup to camouflage tired looking eyes J

4. What you wear everyday also affects your brand

5. What comes out of your mouth when you speak

6. Who do you surround yourself with constantly

In this new year, many resolve to make positive changes with their lives – some of these resolutions could be to re brand or reinvent themselves. You can create your change. However, be aware of that perhaps the people who do not support your change or trust your change mostly come from family members who claim they know you better. I believe that only you know yourself better and the best way is to present the real you to others and not be someone you are not just to please others.

I wish you all the best in this NEW YEAR ! May all your New Year resolutions come true faster than you expect. I know one of my resolutions include to brand others less and work on myself more. With Love & Respect,

Murshidah Said

M &Z Empowerment Centre in KL and Singapore

Founder and Director

Its not Life threatening, BUT its definitely “Quality of Life” Threatening Condition!

Most people know endometriosis as a condition that can cause infertility, but the commonest symptom is pain. Pain with periods, pain with sex, pain opening their bowels, or pelvic pain on most days of the month. Many women with endometriosis become pregnant easily.

Endometriosis is common, but because many women don’t talk about their symptoms, we often don’t realise that it affects between 1 in 10 and 1 in 20 women. For many years, endometriosis was thought to be an uncommon condition of women in their 30s and 40s. We now know that it is a common condition of women in their teens and 20s.

The lining of the uterus is called endometrium. This is the tissue that grows each month and bleeds away during a period. When tissue like endometrium is found outside the uterus it is called endometriosis.

How is endometriosis diagnosed?

The only reliable way to diagnose endometriosis is by laparoscopy. This is an operation where a telescope is inserted through the umbilicus (belly button) to view the organs inside the pelvis. Endometriosis lesions can be clear, pink, red, brown or black.

An ultrasound examination is usually normal unless there are large cysts of endometriosis in the ovaries. These are called endometriomas or chocolate cysts. So, even if an ultrasound is normal, endometriosis can still be present.

What sort of problems can endometriosis cause?

Endometriosis presents in many ways. Common presentations include:

1. Women with no pain, who are found to have endometriosis during investigation for infertility.
2. Women who have severe period pain, often from their teenage years, but are well at other times of the month. Pain with periods is called dysmenorrhoea.
3. Women who have a mix of pain symptoms on most days of the month. This is called chronic pelvic pain. They may have a variety of symptoms including sharp or stabbing pains, changes in bladder function or changes in bowel function.

How is endometriosis managed?

Each woman with endometriosis is different, so the best treatment for each woman will depend on what type of problems she has.

In couples who are unable to become pregnant:

• It is important to get a full picture of all the possible contributing factors. This includes testing her husbands’ semen. Endometriosis may be only one of the fertility problems present.
• A laparoscopy to remove the endometriosis may be enough to improve her fertility
• If pregnancy does not occur after this, then invitro fertilisation (IVF) may be necessary

In women with painful periods, but who are otherwise well the pain may be from the uterus, from endometriosis lesions in the pelvis or from both these areas:

• It is best to first try medications such as anti-inflammatories (e.g. ibuprofen, naproxen, diclofenac), because not all women with painful periods have endometriosis. The medications should be taken early in the period and continued regularly until the pain resolves.
• If no better, then the oral contraceptive pill or acupuncture may be helpful
• If no better, then a laparoscopy with excision (cutting out) of any endometriosis should be considered.
• Sometimes a device called a mirena iucd is used. This is a way of putting progestogen medication inside the uterus and is often very helpful at making periods light and less painful

In women with chronic pelvic pain, treatment is more complicated. Often there are many different symptoms, so no single treatment will fix all her problems. It is often helpful to write down each symptom and plan treatment for each one:

• Period pain over several days (rather than just 1-2 days), pain opening bowels with periods, and endometriomas are best managed with high quality laparoscopic surgery. This can be very difficult surgery and it is important that the surgeon involved has extensive experience with laparoscopic surgical excision. Other alternatives include norethisterone tablets taken daily to avoid periods or a mirena iucd.
• Sharp, stabbing pains, increased sensitivity in the abdomen, soreness near the opening of the vagina, sharp pains that wake her at night, and some types of pain with intercourse are often due to a change in the way nerves in the pelvis function. This is called neuropathic pain. It responds best to medications such as amitriptyline or gabapentin in very low dose. It will also be worse if she is overtired or overstressed.
• Bladder symptoms of frequency (going to toilet more often), nocturia (getting up at night), urgency (needing to rush to the toilet) and some types of pain with intercourse may be due to a condition called interstitial cystitis. It is common in women with endometriosis and needs a special type of test called a cystoscopy and hydrodistension to diagnose. Useful information can be found at www.ic-network.com
• Bowel changes such as constipation, diarrhoea and pelvic discomfort sometimes improve with surgery, but are often due to food intolerances or an irritable bowel.
• Pelvic pain which is worse in different positions or with different activities and some types of pain with intercourse is often due to spasm of the pelvic floor muscles. The muscles just inside the vagina are tight and pressure on them causes pain. Treatment options include pelvic floor physiotherapy, botox injections in the pelvic floor muscles to relieve the spasm, and sometimes low doses of amitriptyline.

Many women with chronic pelvic pain also suffer tiredness and may feel generally unwell. Even when their symptoms improve, they require a lot of emotional support from their family and friends to return to an active and healthy life.

Written by; -Dr Susan Evans is a Pelvic & Laproscopic Surgeon & author of ‘Endometriosis and other pelvic pain’ written for women with endometriosis. It is available from her website: http://www.drsusanevans.com

She is also the co-founder of the Asia Pacific Endometriosis Alliance & co-founder of Australian Endometriosis Centre, Adelaide Branch.

Her books will be available in Singapore in the World Women Health 2009, November 28^th 2-6pm. Suntec City – Rooms303-306.

Registration details at

http://www.worldwomenhealth2009.com.html

Shakun Narang wants to share this interesting information with womenlines readers-

According to the findings of the most recent poll, it takes women almost one year of their lives to decide what to wear. Picking outfits for work, dating, gym, dinner parties, holidays and many other activities means that the average woman will be spending about 287 days rifling through her closet.

The survey, carried out by the UK clothes giant Matalan, was based on an adult lifetime and compiled the results after polling nearly 2,500 women with the ages between 16 and 60 years. The results revealed that most women will be spending approximately 16 minutes on weekday mornings and 14 minutes on a Saturday or Sunday mornings selecting the correct ensembles to wear. According to the study authors, women spend an average of twenty minutes when deciding what to wear on a Friday or Saturday nights and the same amount of time is needed for an outfit selection during a week night.

The researchers behind the study also found that women spend about 52 minutes in front of their closet when it comes to choosing clothes for a vacation at sea. While on vacation, ten minutes a morning will be taken up when a lady is trying to find an acceptable outfit, with another 10 minutes spent on selecting clothes for the evening. In addition to that, dinner parties, Christmas parties and black tie occasions – at approximately 36 minutes a time 6 times throughout a year – adds up to three and a half days.

The results of the poll also demonstrate that, on average, most of women will try on two different outfits every single morning before making up their mind and coming to a final decision. In addition, one in every two women spend about 15 minutes the night before work trying to figure out what clothes to select. Among other findings of the survey is that about 64 hours per year women spend on talking about clothes to their female counterparts.

Sarah Gilmore, a spokesman for Matalan, said that what a woman wears is directly linked to how she feels about herself and it is very important a woman feels exceptional in what she wears. “Whatever the occasion your clothes portray an image and we understand this is fundamentally important to women,” Gilmore said.