Women Lines

http://www.indusladies.com/forums/blogs/induslady/indusladies-4th-annual-international-women-8412/

It’s not easy being a mother.  If it were easy, fathers would do it.  ~From the
television show The Golden Girls

Motherhood, though challenging phase,  is  still a blessing to any woman. It has an humanizing effect on the mother and thus the child is blessed by her care and affection!

Few years back when world of woman revolved around her family and home only, the period of motherhood was a very different experience compared to present one. In today’s times things have changed , women are playing various other roles too besides  of homemaker.After having a baby  when she gets back to work she has to be dependent upon extra help from either maids, day care or support system in family.So the real challenge which comes for any working mother is how to bond with her baby and provide and nurture her with motherly love and affection.

Few families in which parents of the couple are able to provide the support for some limited time find themselves really blessed.As parents are more experienced definitely they are going to take better care but  sometimes clashes happen due to different ways of thinking about parenting.Then the challenge comes to make them understand the importance of their way of thinking and how it is going to benefit the baby.

Baby grows and crosses toddler stage , kid stage and then he enters that phase when his character has to be built and he has to learn about good eating habits. The challenge lies here for any mother, whether she is working or homemaker, to teach the importance of values like gratitude, honesty and other moral values. Media and peer pressure has affected children to that limit that they have started considering their parents guidance as boring lectures only. When they see glamour of media and how their friends enjoy certain things while hiding from their family, it becomes challenging for them to ignore it.

Families in today’s era  is using all modern gadgets and that too is available separately for every member of the family. Whether it is Laptop, Iphone, Ipad, Game console, kids are aware of the gadget lingo and have the expertise to use it. Challenge lies here for any mother to how to allow the controlled usage of gadgets by kids and how to save them from the negative effect of using such gadgets.

Being a mother every women wants best for her child and puts her very best efforts to give that atmosphere at home which can help in inculcating good habits in them.But  the way society is changing  mothering today is really becoming challenging!

Its my love  and full attention I want to give to my baby!

This was the first thought which came into  my mind when I  delivered my baby. I never knew that journey will be so challenging. Mindfulmotherhood talks about being present to needs of your baby and giving full attention to him. Its all about being present for your baby needs and attending to his requirements with presence of mind. Its very practical for my mother as she thinks being a mother this should be my natural behaviour. But honestly its not. Its really challenging to put my all thoughts and attention for my baby as in today’s fast moving world there are so many inputs and outputs to attend.

Thanks to authors who write parenting books which really guides us about facts of parenting which we can only  realize once we read it. “Mindful Motherhood’ is one book which really opened my eyes regarding mindful parenting. Casdsandra Vietan, author of the book, guides you about practical tools for staying sane during pregnancy and your child’s first year.Casandra emphasizes that “Mindfulness can help you meet the challenge and approach every experience with your new baby with open eyes and open heart”.

Chapters like ‘The observing self’ and ‘The train of thought’ are amazingly described where you get a new vision about yourself and handful tips provided at the end of the chapter really helps in giving you new insight for motherhood.

Motherhood is a journey of bonding with your babies forever. Don’t miss those precious moments of life in everyday ratrace. The best gift which any mother can give to her kid is ‘ Mindful Motherhood’.

World is full of distractions and thus its very important to live in present. I am greatful to God that I came across this book while browsing parenting section of a library. The way different topics are discussed and various ways are suggested which can help you to follow mindful parenting is really helpful but only if you practise!

To be mindful always is really a skill which has to be developed by practise.

It matters to me!

At times I find being a woman is not an easy job and definitely not to mention to be an Ideal women. I wonder where those ideal women resides who perform all roles of being a wife, a mother, an employee, a daughter and a DIL, sister, friend and so many not to mention , with perfection. Will really love to meet one if she really exists in today’s  complex world!

World in which we are living today is though a blessing for today’s women. I am not talking about women liberation , or equal right distribution for women in our society. I want to focus on the multitudes of spheres in one life where women has to focus and work upon. As technology is making our life easy we are having other constraints to manage our life in an orderly fashion. In whole world around women issues start from the talk about being financially independent, she studies hard, builds a space for herself in society and gets married and becomes responsible for the welfare of the new family she has entered.Then starts her life managing herself, her office, her husband, her family and going forward kids come in picture.

Its matter of justifying all roles together.As an ideal women she should be a great cook who can prepare awesome lunch boxes, dinner and snacks for the family. As an employee she should be giving her best performance in office, prepare all reports timely, prepare excellent presentations and above all reply to all her mails…..wink wink:)! As a DIL  she should be taking care of her in laws, respect them , follow all family rituals, fasts, attend all function and entertain all guests with perfection. As a mother she should be always playful, ready for arguments, should always listen to her kid  and spend quality time with him.Then as a friend she should spend take out time for her friend, go for outings, shopping, movie time, invite for dinners, and much more. And mind you all roles have to be delivered in 24 hrs duration.

Hey , I forgot to mention role of being herself. As an individual she should be spending time with herself, take care of her health, body, exercise, eat healthy food, watch her favourite shows and movie, meditate, go to spas and lots more.

Is this job easy?I wonder!

But I enjoy being women.There is so much to do. Let’s not focus on ideal clause for being a women then you wont be under stress and enjoy your womanhood more. Its all about time management which we learn slowly by practise. Its also about taking one step at a time and multitasking those steps together. Balancing can only be achieved with a calmer mind so every women on this earth should exercise and meditate to discover herself. Think of at least 15 mins my time in whole day schedule where u do something for just your own happiness and I think it can do wonders in any women life.

I strongly believe that any family’s happiness lies in the happiness if the lady of the house. If she is not happy, unwell, frustrated then side effects start appearing on whole family. If we love our family then we have to take care of ourselves and start trying to find ways  to make ourselves happy.

So cheer up my fellow women, don’t stress yourself to be an ideal women. Have a vision for yourself and multitask allyour roles with perfection!

I never thought that I will feel so happy sometime in life while watching few (not all) serials on our Indian Channels!

Yes , its true! I am staying in Singapore for last 3 years and at times I feel so much disconnected with my country, specially around festivals, marriage parties and other gatherings. When I watch such serials, specially like Sasural Genda Phool and Yeh Rishta Kya Kahlata Hai, I just miss that warmth of relations which is shown  between various characters. Whether it is between two sister-in-laws or cousins or any relationship.  In India we still value relations and at time of need everybody is there around you. There are so many occasions to celebrate and you can share your happiness with so many people around. Love filled communication with relatives and teasing between youngsters fill the home environment with uncomparable joy.

Just like others, in foreign countries we also get used to routine schedule rushing after some dream, trying to reach desired destination. In the ,meantime we forget that life is just not for destinations. It is for bonding between people. Friendship bond, bonding between relatives, brothers, sisters,  and so many other relationships which just happen by chance. May be with your old neighbour. In fact that bonding can happen with your maid too. I was just mesmerized when my MIL’s old maid desperately called her sometimes back to share news about her marriage. I mean she literally called her in Singapore and requested her to attend her party. She has worked for many years at my MIL’s house. Special bonding and love between her and my MIL was the reason behind it!

 When I watch these serials it reminds me who am I and where I belong to. To be honest, then suddenly I realize that I am missing so many things and start searching my Indian identity within myself. I am also  not able to show my kid the importance of relationships. Somehow I feel good if my kid watches those serials as he comes to know different aspects of relationships which we are not following  here. I want to congratulate directors of both the serials who have come up with such brilliant topic and who have stressed on the importance of relations in everybody’s life.

Happy viewing!

Children need to feel our endless, unconditional love in order to grow, learn and trust. They need to love themselves so they can learn to love others.   

It’s a very natural fact for every parent and don’t think I am preaching the basics of parenting that please love your child, because every parent on this earth loves has  boundless love for their kids. My emphasis is on the second line that they have to love themselves first so that they can  have the feel of this emotion for everybody around them. This can be done only if he is getting ample of love from his near and dear one. THIS LOVE SHOULD BE EXPRESSED LOVE IN SOME FORM. No doubt that you must be having ample of love for your child but what matters is how you express it. Do you express it by buying gifts and toys for him. Or do you express by taking him out for his outings. Love shouldn’t be dependent upon material things. It should come out straight from heart and if you express it to your kid in some creative ways then it will leave everlasting effect on him. 

Kids must trust you that no matter what happens, whatever mistake they do they can come to you and you are always there for them. If this trust is there then nothing can come between you and your kid. 

I came across interesting sharing from a mother that how she  tied a little silver whistle from a long, red ribbon to hang on a wooden heart with a peg  and painted the words “Need a little hug? Give a little whistle!” around the edge of the heart. She hanged it on the kitchen wall. She was little apprehensive initially and thought that her kids are might too old for that and would think it is silly.But she heard the whistle blew,time by time, year after year. I consider it as a most wonderful way of communicating that kids need our time, they need to talk or need a hug. 

If you have will there are ways…Just give a thought how you want to love your kid!