Have you ever thought of embracing resistance as your friend? Learn from Leadership Influencer Sally Anderson from New Zealand how this friendship can transform your life! Sally has privately coached key influencers internationally: CEO’s/executive teams/C-Suite forums/entrepreneurs/celebrities/politicians/millionaires/billionaires over 20 years.
Did you know the frightening statistic regarding ‘resistance to change? Upwards of 80% if not more of people resist change in their personal and or professional lives then use confusion as their go-to point to abdicate responsibility as to why things are the way they are. Powerful default strategy. There is a lot written about being committed, resilient or persevering BUT there is little written about the number 1 thing that you have to transcend if you want not only change but sustainable change and that folks are your relationship with ‘resistance’.
If you want to change, transform any area of your life be that personally and or professionally, this will be directly linked to your ability to embrace resistance as your ally NOT your enemy. What would happen in your life if you went to everything that you were confronted by, resistant of, uncomfortable with? Do you think you might produce different results? Doing the same things expecting different results is not only time consuming it’s ludicrous!
We come across resistance as a constant in our lives every day and yet we do not welcome it for this is where the rubber truly hits the road where transformation is concerned. I am not saying you need to put yourself in unsafe situations but if you desire your life to be what you want it to be it starts and ends with transforming your relationship with what resistance means to you.
With the advent of Covid 19, many have been forced to feel resistance to an unprecedented level because the pandemic has propelled people into uncharted waters. Pre Covid the majority could remain disassociated from the costs of not changing but post-Covid, navigating uncertainty has become the norm. We are used to being in control, but who are we when we are out of control? In the leadership space specifically, leaders are used to being in control but when placed in a situation where they are no longer in control they experience massive resistance.
I am a proponent of what I term ‘reverse psychology’ – It is counter-intuitive to go to that which you find confronting, resistant and uncomfortable HOWEVER as a change agent these are the shoes you LIVE IN if the change is what you want! Most people get off the court when they experience confrontation, resistance and uncomfortability and yet these are the 3 access points to true unrecognisable transformation. If you wish to change and or sustain change EMBRACE confrontation, resistance and uncomfortability as your new norm after all they are JUST feelings and once transcended there is gold that lies on the other side!
Here are 10 recommendations to embrace resistance as your ally:-
- Train yourself that when you want to back out GO IN – be that a conversation, be that a decision you said you would take, be that an action
- Evidence based people are waiting for evidence to show up before they trust, which are the majority – so if you need evidence take resistant action for 1 week and see all the evidence you need
- Be your word for 1 week, do what you say you are going to do to the letter and when resistance is present welcome it, and take the action anyway
- Get a sense of humour because when resistance is present we have a tendency as human beings to be VERY serious, significant and dramatic
- Get an accountability partner, be that daily video’s, daily checkin’s, welcome partnership in transcending your current resistance
- Get support, hire a coach or a mentor who partners you to bridge the gap from where you are today to where you want to be
- Play it like it’s a game. Notice the area’s of your life where you are the most resistant and make a pact with yourself that instead of doing what you have always done do something different – instead of getting off the court in these moments, and there will be many, stay on the court!
- Leverage your faith. The main benefit of having a faith is being guaranteed of living and leading a fearless existence so in the moments you are resistant turn with in and ask for guidance
- Create accountability structures, structure builds strong foundations for transformative results and learn to be your word to yourself like your life depends on it and it literally does
- Get comfortable being uncomfortable after all it is just a feeling. Feelings pass. Welcome resistance as your ally, go looking for it, wallow in it being your access point to everything you want
Final word. If you are not willing to transform your relationship to ‘resistance’, just get that you are more committed to sabotaging for every moment of every day that you are not embracing resistance is a day where you rob yourself of what could be possible. Food for thought today!
Sally Anderson Leadership Coach To The Influencers