Womenlines in collaboration with Solworxs, a business company from India, takes pleasure to present BIZWAY– An Online Presence Platform.
Womenlines (founded by Charu Mehrotra) listed in top 40 women’s online magazines to follow in 2020, is an online magazine promoting excellence in women across the globe so they can become the best version of themselves. Solworxs is a business services company in India, founded by Mani Lakkaraju, wheeling the ideations and helping Entrepreneurs to Transform their ideas in Businesses with support of Mentoring, Technology Advisory, Fund Raising.
As a business owner, start-up owner or any venture owner you all entrepreneurs are always in rush to do so many things- business plan, operations, HR, marketing and now digital marketing is making entrepreneurs overwhelmed. Here comes Bizway which wants to listen to your story from you, what makes you great to do this venture, and how the community gets to benefit from your venture. A very interesting bi-monthly show, especially for entrepreneurs across!
In the second episode, we present the Woow story of Divaspati Bhat from India, who strongly believes in enabling people under HR Transformation through services of his company dbEE Consulting.
Listen to Divaspati’s wow story in his own words in the show above-
Divaspati Bhat, a passionate Human Resource expert is the Director of dbEE Consulting in Bangalore, India!
HR Professional with over 30+ years of experience in delivering strategic HR initiatives in diverse service sectors in the areas of organization structuring, HR strategy, talent and performance management. Divaspati’s Experience in deployment of business strategy through organization design, HR and reward strategy has been incredible.
Divaspati’s venture dbEE Consulting takes care of Design and Implementation of Talent Management Frameworks, Total Reward Strategy and Programs, Performance Management, Organization Development, Structure and defining Operating models, Job Evaluation, Executive Compensation, Performance-based Variable Pay and Incentive Plans, Retention Pay.
dbEE Consulting team consists of integrated individuals responsible for heading all human resources functional initiatives and objectives with the broader business plan and is a primary leader for driving successful change management within the organization drawing on all aspects of HR functional skills (Associate Relations, Labor Relations, Compensation, and Organizational Development) to ensure balanced, strategic decision making.
DB means Delivery Beyond and as Divaspati Bhat explains the paradigm shift, constructive consensus, responsible relationship, self-analysis, leadership enablement and the essence of the story is
Cultivate before harvesting with Positive approach, ability to create more choices, learning to unlearn. The Delivery beyond is a Continuum and its a boon for Entrepreneurs with four levels of learnings starting with Being in Grace (BIG), Being Light In Success Stimulation (BLISS), Be Enabler and Master (BEAM), Be Excellent Entrepreneurs (BEE).
https://www.linkedin.com/in/divaspati-bhat-6b0301104/?originalSubdomain=in
If you are interested to share the story about your venture at Bizway, email urbizway01@gmail.com!
Are you looking out for physical health, leadership skills, mindset health and image branding strengthening tools to be the best version of yourself? Subscribe to weekly powerful updates of an online magazine Womenlines for free. Click https://www.womenlines.com!
Womenlines takes pleasure to share about Friska Wirya, Change Management Expert, Leadership and Management Consultant at Fresh by Friska, from Melbourne, as a guest contributor at Womenlines. Check out her article on how to move forward in the “New” world of work with COVID around-
What did COVID reveal about the workplace culture, good and/or bad?
Have you ever felt that the valleys (low not such great times) teach you the lessons mountain tops (business flying high) never could?
A crisis tends to exacerbate and bring out people’s true essences. Organizations are made of people. People can strengthen or erode an organization’s culture by a single action, a single decision, a single word. The COVID-19 pandemic provided a behind the scenes look at organizational cultures – the good, the bad, the ugly.
I have found it is not the organization with the largest balance sheet, the most aggressive marketing plan, nor the biggest quarterly profits… but it is those with the healthiest cultures that emerge stronger after a crisis.
Too many companies bet on a cut-throat, take-no-prisoners culture to drive financial success. There’s an assumption that pressure and stress drive employees to achieve more. What these organizations don’t realize – or ignore altogether – are the hidden costs of an unhealthy culture: stress, disengagement, lack of loyalty.
Research shows that healthcare expenditures at companies with high-pressure cultures are nearly 50% greater than at other organizations, with almost 80% of workplace accidents attributed to stress. Unsurprisingly, disengagement is low when people aren’t happy or find meaning in their work. In studies by the Gallup Organization, disengaged workers have 37% higher absenteeism, 49% more accidents, and 60% more errors and defects. In turn, this results in people leaving, workplace stress caused by unhealthy cultures leads to an increase of almost 50% involuntary turnover.
The coronavirus ‘valley’ has created a moment of truth for every company. Leaders are rightly asking themselves: Are our choices and actions reflecting our culture, purpose, and values that we espouse? We have seen companies with healthy lifestyles enjoy continued and even greater success during this pandemic such as Slack, Culture Amp, and Best Western Hotels.
Culture doesn’t belong to one person, it doesn’t belong to the top leadership group, it’s something to share and co-create with your people. Use this time to reconnect with your purpose and values. When this crisis has passed, and you climb back on the mountaintop, will you look back with pride at how your company responded?
If the answer is no, then change it.
Culture, although intangible and nebulous, can be changed using a structured change management approach:
- Define ‘as is’ culture state – gain a ‘warts and all’ understanding of what the culture is today.
- Define ‘desired’ culture state – explicitly define the culture of tomorrow, what does it look like, feel like?
- Gap analysis and action planning
- Enlist top-down support – is there visible and active advocacy from each area in the business?
- Make the desired culture real – what visible indicators, rituals, symbols and behaviours demonstrate the desired culture? Provide simple Do’s and Don’ts for people to follow.
- Alignment with organizational elements – have we integrated the desired culture to influence how we lead, how we hire, how we develop, how we reward, and how we retain our people?
- Continuous improvement: What culture metrics are relevant and how will we measure them? Are we feeding the results back into the change program to drive cultural alignment? Are we learning from culture leaders within and outside of our industry?
Culture always matters, but it matters now more than ever.
FRISKA WIRYA
Friska Wirya is a Change Management Expert, Leadership and Management Consultant at Fresh by Friska. She has led change programs impacting up to +23,000 people across the seven continents for the biggest names in mining, engineering and technology. A lifelong learner, her effectiveness at managing the people-side of change has proven to be a compelling productivity-boosting strategy.
Are you looking out for physical health, leadership skills, mindset health and image branding strengthening tools to be the best version of yourself? Subscribe to weekly powerful updates of an online magazine Womenlines for free. Click https://www.womenlines.com!.
Womenlines takes pleasure to welcome Meena Gupta, a beautician by profession from Singapore, as a guest contributor for ‘Healthy Recipes for Healthy You’ segment of Womenlines!
Super healthy baked teatime Multi-Seed Crisps!
These delicious crisps are great for a quick on-the-go snack!
Recipe:
Instant or Rolled Oats: ½ cup
Whole-wheat flour: 1 Tbsp
A mix of Pumpkin/Sunflower: ½ cup
Chia seeds / Flax / Sesame / Kalonji : 3 Tbsp
Salt: ½ Tsp
Water: 80-90 ml
Olive oil: 1 Tbsp
Honey : 4 Tsp
Method:
- Preheat the oven to 160degree C
- Line a baking tray with baking paper and cut out another paper of the same size. Keep one aside
- In a bowl, mix the oats, flour, salt. Mix all the seeds followed by Honey, Olive Oil and Water. Cover the bowl
- Keep aside for 15 minutes
- Take the dough on the butter paper and flatten it to ¼ inch of thickness
- If it feels sticky, oil your hands
- Place the other piece of paper that you had cut earlier on a flat surface (or put it on another baking tray if you have one)
- Carefully turn the cracker onto the new paper.
- Basically, the side that was facing down (the baked side), should now be up
- Transfer this baking paper and cracker to a baking tray and put it back in the oven
- Bake for 10 15 minutes more till the cracker starts to get a golden colour and crisp
Enjoy each and every bite of it!
Myself “Meena Gupta” Beautician by profession! I’m a passionate cook, who loves to experiment & try a variety of dishes.
Are you looking out for physical health, leadership skills, mindset health and image branding strengthening tools to be the best version of yourself? Subscribe to weekly powerful updates of an online magazine Womenlines for free. Click https://www.womenlines.com.
Womenlines is delighted to welcome Suddha Subrammaniam as a guest contributor to share her herb garden story at Womenlines. Professionally Suddha is a corporate professional having 17+ years of Global experience in Australia & India, in diverse roles and sectors including Business Unit Head, Project Management, Policy Advocacy and Public Sectors. Personally, Suddha is a nature-loving person who used her stay in her hometown during the lockdown period, creating a beautiful garden space starting from scratch. Read about her experience below-
It has been a decade since I got to spend so much time during Summer in my ancestral home, over three months now. Since the lockdown, my garden has become my happy space where I have potted herbs like Rosemary, Davanam/Maricolunthu, Holy Basil/Krishna Tulasi, Sweet Basil, Mugwort/Masipatri, Mint, Karpooravalli/Oregano, Marjoram/Maruga, Vallarai/Indian Pennywort, Bhringraj/Karisalankanni and Thuthuvalai/Solanum Trilobatum and planted some tropical plants like Pavalamalli/ Night Flowering Jasmine, Panner Pushpam/Beach Gardenia, Night Queen, Parijatham/Gardenia, Ixora, Arali/Nerium, Marudhani/Mehandi.
It has given me immense pleasure to see them spurt grow and flower. Every morning this is my first go-to place to see the new leaves, the first flower in the plants. Most of these herbs are medicinal and can be used for consumption or used to make scrubs and paste for oral application. Most of the flowers from the plants can be given as offerings in the temples.
“Small pleasures give us immense satisfaction and also makes us look forward with excitement and positivity. Learning to take every day as it comes.”
17+ years of Global experience in Australia & India, in diverse roles and sectors including Business Unit Head, Project Management, Policy Advocacy and Public Sectors. A passionate self-motivated leader with excellent influencing and communication skills, working with senior Bureaucrats & industry leaders.
Are you looking out for physical health, leadership skills, mindset health and image branding strengthening tools to be the best version of yourself? Subscribe to weekly powerful updates of an online magazine Womenlines, listed in top 40 online magazines to follow in 2020, for free. Click https://www.womenlines.com!!.
Womenlines takes pleasure to welcome Prof K. K. Varma to share about his book ‘Life and Times of Unborn Kamla’, which is an intriguing book addressing issues of diminishing girls due to female feticide and infanticide in India. The book is certainly a must-read as it can make people introspect to find some solution and attract the attention of right authorities and associations who can put collective efforts to solve this problem. Please visit the links mentioned below to place your order for the book. In the article below Prof Varma has highlighted why he wants people across the globe to give attention to this book- “My book emanates from such feelings and emotional anguish and; equally; the absolute need for comprehensive documentation on the consequences of vanishing girls (diminishing daughters) consequent to female feticide as part of advocacy. Seen in this context, the book “Life and Times of Unborn Kamla” is possibly the very first of its kind.”
- The genesis
Human sufferings have always hurt me deeply even when I have not been in any position to do anything to alleviate it. Growing up as a development professional -the issue of human rights violations touched me deeply-often shaking my conscience and emotions. Such feelings increasingly got imbibed over the long years of working in social and developmental sectors particularly on women-centric issues
As a professional working on social issues, I have been distressingly aware of increasing skewed sex-ratio as a result of sex-selective abortions (female feticide)-an act which can only be dubbed as the worse kind of terrorism. The after-effects have been distorting demographic map of India with devastating consequences.
One has heard of human rights violations in different shades, context and socio-political system; may have self-experienced in some form at some time or other…….. but the act of denying someone the intrinsic right “to be born” defy all limits of barbarism, human sensitivity and civility. Given a conscious thought, there cannot be any other form of violence that’s more painful, more abhorrent and more shameful- a blot on human attitude, act and behaviour bordering on insanity.
What has been most unfortunate, reports about the low status of women in Indian society, gender-based differentiation; atrocities and crimes, physical and sexual assault; and unabashed practice of aborting female fetus has kept appearing in various media from time to time with religious regularity… but these have simply failed to evoke any desired response. These have just remained as one more incidents among crime reporting-soliciting little attention from society or the administration as such, leave alone leading to any proactive actions and effective measures.
- Face to face with earthy realities
That the menace has wounded the society no end- could be known only while working in outreach with the community during which I was confronted with its resultant repercussions and deeper scars- completely disrobing our social fabric, humiliating cultural pride, injuring moral values; and belittling what our great religion preaches. Various researches published in different articles and journals; and also reports appearing in media from time to time further confirmed and strengthened, rather sadly, my observations and ground-realities experiences.
The first hand exposure to such cruel maladies could be made possible due to my visit (as part of official responsibilities) to community projects on maternal and child health being implemented by non-governmental organizations (NGOs) across length and breadth of the country. Meeting, interacting with project communities mainly women opened sort of Pandora Box!
- Emotional anguish
Such exposure shook me no end! One basic question which troubled me and also most of us, I presume: “How can anyone deny the basic human rights to the newborn?” How a man placing the seed of a child into the woman’s womb decides if gender will determine the status of the newborn in the family. As the father responsible for the child’s birth he cannot have prejudice towards her. He is responsible for the unborn child’s gender. It is not the woman, but the man’s chromosome that decides whether the newborn is going to be a girl or boy. Yet, he with his family will torture the woman blaming her for giving birth to a girl. And the unreasoned bias is reflected in the way the family treats the newborn.
It made me further ponder “Can men do without women?”…. They need a mother to feed them, a sister to play with, in their youth they seek a ladylove for romance, a wife to have a family with… but they don’t want a daughter born to them! These double standards and ingrained hypocrisy have made the girl child more vulnerable – demographically and culturally as well.“
Every human life is a gift from the mother’s womb. We spend nine months in her womb, while she goes through all the discomfort in keeping us safe. Her hormones and body undergo changes, but she only wraps us in love, eagerly waiting to hold us in her arms. And then we are born, and she feeds us her natural milk. She fills our world with love, protecting us from the harshness that she is exposed to. Her every moment is dedicated to us. She sleeps according to the cycles of our waking, sleeping, crying and feeding. Our life is hers till we are capable of being independent.
We are nourished and nurtured every moment of our life by mother. She is our Mother Nature, our Mother Earth. She bears our burdens and sustains us through inclement weather and mellow Sun. And in return – we abuse every moment a future mother, inflict wounds on her and eliminate her even before she is born. Her crime? She has been born as a daughter! We will not let her see the light of day, lie on her mother’s lap and crawl on the ground… We treat her worse than our diseased cattle.
She is seen as an object of desire, manufacturer of male children and a source of cheap labor. Whenever found lacking in any of these duties, she is sold for money and bought for pleasure; she can be molested and raped mostly with impunity. And her fall in social esteem is causing a grave imbalance to the moral order.
Is this sane, civil conduct to go all out to get a bride, pay for one in a hush-hush deal, then if she is pregnant with a girl child, abort the foetus and sell her to a brothel?
Can this human psyche be adequately explained or analyzed? Can such diabolical behavior be justified by any logic?
My book emanates from such feelings and emotional anguish and; equally; the absolute need for comprehensive documentation on the consequences of vanishing girls (diminishing daughters) consequent to female feticide as part of advocacy. Seen in this context, the book “Life and Times of Unborn Kamla” is possibly the very first of its kind.
Sketched into well-woven document mentioning several case histories with narrations of individuals experience may appear to be harrowing but there are strong social undercurrents for researchers, administrators, policymakers and, last but not the least, the people at large.
Place your order now-
Amazon.in: https://www.amazon.in/s?k=life+and+times+of+unborn+kamla+k.k.+varma&ref=nb_sb_noss
Part of proceeds from sale of the Book is contributed to support Women Empowerment Program run by Aarohan-NGO based in Delhi (www.aarohanngo.org)”
Are you looking out for physical health, leadership skills, mindset health and image branding strengthening tools to be the best version of yourself? Subscribe to weekly powerful updates of an online magazine Womenlines, listed in top 40 online magazines to follow in 2020, for free. Click https://www.womenlines.com!!
Womenlines takes pleasure to share the second episode of the talk show ‘Master your emotions with Dr Ruby and Charu’ presented by RAY Academy Swiss – Re-Invent the Awesome You and Womenlines!
As we all know, it’s not the smartest people who are the most successful in life. There are many people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially inept and unsuccessful at work or in their personal relationships. Intelligence quotient (IQ) isn’t enough on its own to achieve success in life. So here we bring to you a talk show which will help you to manage your emotions smartly and get expertise in emotional intelligence.
In the second episode, Dr Ruby and Charu are sharing interesting tips on how emotional health can play a very important part in managing mental health!
Dr Ruby Bakshi Khurdi is the Emotional Intelligence Expert Trainer, TEDx Speaker, Vice President, Women Empowerment, Global Goodwill Ambassador for Switzerland, Chairperson for AllLadies League, Women Economic Forum, Exceptional Woman of Excellence Award, She Inspires 2020 Finalist, Award for Academic Excellence, Meri Pehchaan, Pride of India in Education! nominated Most Inspirational Female Entrepreneur by Swiss Entrepreneur Magazine. Her latest venture RAY Academy Swiss – Re-Invent the Awesome You, is for helping people to develop Public speaking skills. An initiative to reach out to people to build their communication skills, make speaking fun & create an Impact!
Charu Mehrotra is serial entrepreneur, founder of a personal transformation online magazine Womenlines.com enlightening, empowering, enabling womenfolk across the globe so they can become the best version of themselves. Womenlines is listed in Top 40 Women’s Magazines, Publications & Ezines To Follow In 2020 by Feedspot.
Charu has always believed in creating awareness in womenfolk towards making excellence as a brand. She strongly believes women are what they read. Charu is a Global Goodwill Ambassador. Linkedin Wonder Woman, GEC Asia Pacific Award for Social Entrepreneurship and REX Karamveer Fellowship and Bronze awards some of the recognitions she has received recently! Before striking out on her own at ‘Womenlines’ her entrepreneurship experience was enriched by her several ventures as the cofounder of Udaan, NC Styles, Earngo.
Do subscribe to- Dr Ruby Bakshi Khurdi’s youtube channel to receive informative updates related to Emotional Intelligence and Womenlines TV to receive powerful updates which can help you to become the better version of self!
Visit the link Episode 1 to watch the first episode!
Are you looking out for physical health, leadership skills, mindset health and image branding strengthening tools to be the best version of yourself? Subscribe to weekly powerful updates of an online magazine Womenlines for free. Click https://www.womenlines.com.
Womenlines in collaboration with Solworxs, a business company from India, takes pleasure to present BIZWAY- An Online Presence Platform. Womenlines is an online magazine promoting excellence in women across the globe so they can become the best version of themselves. Solworxs is a business services company in India, founded by Mani Lakkaraju, wheeling the ideations and helping Entrepreneurs to Transform their ideas in Businesses with support of Mentoring, Technology Advisory, Fund Raising.
As a business owner, start-up owner or any venture owner you all entrepreneurs are always in rush to do so many things- business plan, operations, HR, marketing and now digital marketing is making entrepreneurs overwhelmed. Here comes Bizway which wants to listen to your story from you, what makes you great to do this venture, and how the community gets to benefit from your venture. A very interesting bi-monthly show, especially for entrepreneurs across! In the first episode, we present the Woow story of Neha Mathur, a Personal Branding Coach and an Image consultant from India who is the founder of an image consultancy ‘The Missing Piece’.
Listen to Neha’s wow story in her own words in the show above-
At The Missing Piece, key idea is to help individuals bridge the gap between their true and most organic nature and the image they like to project based on their personal and professional roles. Image Consultant Neha Mathur journeys through the multi-layered process of self-discovery to enable and empower individuals to instil poise and confidence in every client.
Through a personalized understanding of the uniqueness and individuality of each individual, she adds value to their image with advice on etiquette, communication, body language, fashion, grooming and styling. Neha has taken it upon herself to ensure that her every client is well connected with who they are within and are able to translate this into a personal and unique style quotient of their own.
Neha has studied Image Management from India’s most reputed Image Consulting and Business Institute with the Conselle Institute of Image Management as their curriculum partner. She is a Certified Image Consultant and a Soft Skills Trainer accredited by the Scottish Qualification Authority (SQA) and National Accredition Board for Education and Training (NABET). Her main focus is on :
- Appearance Management Business and General Etiquette
- Communication Skills Fine Dining Etiquette
- Personal Branding
Her passion is to combine the two domains of Image Management and Soft Skills to help individuals and groups bridge the space between their true self and the image they would like to project to the
Her other interests include photography, especially lifestyle and fashion products, in which she has shot for boutiques, online retailing, cataloguing and promotions. While living in the US, she has also won a prize at the Annual Photography Contest held at the Flower Fields in Carlsbad, California.
Neha has worked with individual clients, both men and women, ranging from the Corporate Sector, Lawyers, Entrepreneurs, Fitness Coach, Homemakers looking to restart their careers after a sabbatical. She has facilitated group workshops for the employees of various organisations like Schnieder Electric, FLoCareer, State Street Corporation, Antuit on Image at Work and Effective Communication Skills.
Neha has conducted workshops on topics like Power of First Impressions and the Importance of Personal Branding for the students of colleges like Sheshadripuram College, Jain University, ISBR College NIFT Bangalore, to name a few. She has also worked as a stylist for different fashion brands like Paarisha (Handmade Jewelry), Silhouteri (Customised Clothing), Timri (Sustainable Fashion and Lifestyle Boutique Store), Chanchal (an organic and sustainable fashion label).
Neha is providing service of conducting personal branding workshops through virtual medium globally to individuals and corporates. Connect with Neha at-
Linkedin- Neha Mathur
Insta – The Missing Piece
Are you looking out for physical health, leadership skills, mindset health and image branding strengthening tools to be the best version of yourself? Subscribe to weekly powerful updates of an online magazine Womenlines for free. Click https://www.womenlines.com.
Womenlines.com (https://www.womenlines.com listed in top 40 online women’s magazines to follow in 2020), in collaboration with Solworxs (founded by Mani Lakkaraju), a business company from India, takes pleasure to present BIZWAY- An Online Presence Platform.
A very interesting bi-monthly show, especially for entrepreneurs across! . Bizway is an international Online Presence Platform (OPP) with a key objective to foster beyond and enable entrepreneurs to grow into the future.
Online presence platform is a service which is offered by the Bizway team to facilitate businesses to join an online show and create the marketable content from the online show which is later made available at various branded digital pages like Linkedin, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, etc… and online magazine Womenlines for 24*7 digital presence on the content online.
Email urbizway01@gmail.com to register for the show!
Are you looking out for physical health, leadership skills, mindset health and image branding strengthening tools to be the best version of yourself? Subscribe to weekly free powerful updates of an online magazine Womenlines for free. Click https://www.womenlines.com!
Womenlines takes pleasure to welcome Lynn McIntosh, as a guest contributor at Womenlines. Lynn has shared a very interesting article on an understanding of a Narcissist’s attitude-
Let’s take an inventory regarding the attitude that a narcissist has towards you.
Do you ever get the idea that the narcissist in your life is unimpressed by you? That this individual has low regard or low level of respect for you. Do you ever get the sense that they are really dismissive towards you and all the many ways you like to think and do? Do you ever think that person has a condescending attitude towards you or is using you?
The above happens almost every time you are in the narcissist’s presence because that is how they think. There is one simple phrase that summarizes the narcissist’s attitude towards you and it’s “you’re not me.” They think that is a good way for them to think.
The narcissist has their set of standards and you just don’t meet up to them. There is that sense of haughtiness and it reflects their need to be in control over you because they have such an inflated understanding of who they are. There are implications spilling over from that statement “you’re not me.” It’s also their way of implying you don’t think like me (and you should) or you don’t prioritize like me, you don’t have the same skills like me, you don’t have the same connections as I do, you don’t have the right beliefs like I do.
They have this need to build themselves up by saying “you’re not me” that gives them the opportunity to think “well if you look at me, you are going to see what an enlightened person looks like.” When they say “you’re not me” it implies insults. Insults such as you’re defective, you’re inadequate, you’re inferior, you’re unenlightened and furthermore you’re a nuisance too. You’re confused and you’re probably wrong. You have baggage, you can’t be trusted, you’re emotionally imbalanced.
When they think “you’re not me” you’re thinking “what did I do to deserve this?” “Why do you think so poorly of me?” There is one simple answer to that and its “you showed up.” When you are in the narcissists’ presence and after a while when they realize you’re not going to fit into that mould that they have for you, here comes that notion “you’re not me” and all of the insults that go along with it.
I have clients coming to me saying “I’m never going to be able to please this person.” This individual is constantly in a bad mood. What does that statement “you’re not me” tell us about what is going on in the interior of the narcissistic person?
- Narcissists are highly self-impressed. Part of the defining feature of narcissism is that they have an inflated view of who they are to the extent that their egos are much larger than is really necessary and frankly their ego is so large, there is not much left in the equation for you. They have to have that superior position, so they view the world in such a way that allows them to maintain that bias. Narcissists are empty souls. This implication that “you’re not me” and you’re defective, I’m better than you – all this is part of their grand design to maintain a false self. Way back in their younger years and throughout their adult years and interactions, they’ve realized there are people that may not like them, people that have differences and they’re going to ask for some adjustment and the narcissist is thinking “Well, that means you’re rejecting me” and they put all sorts of interpretations on differences that are actually false so what they do is they build a persona around the notion that says “I’m impenetrable.” There is nothing wrong with me, there is nothing that needs to be changed.
- Narcissists will almost always, sometimes subconsciously, assign the role of “loser” to you. As I mentioned, all you have to do is show up, and you are already in second place and sinking fast. They think “because I’m superior you have to be inferior.” That’s the way they think.
Narcissists truly don’t understand the commonalities that all people have. When a narcissist thinks “you’re not me” it’s their way of saying “I’m truly unique. The truth is we all have unique skills, ingredients and traits. That’s part of what’s built into human nature. Diversity and variety. But then we have a whole lot of commonality as well and they don’t like to acknowledge that. We all have insecurities, we all have moments for anger, we all have the potential for good, we all make blunders, we each have likes and dislikes, we are all the same in many kinds of ways. Narcissists don’t like to say, yes, you are my fellow companion on this road of life and we are all in this together.” The narcissist says “No, I’m apart.” They can’t understand our commonality and interconnection. To them, that’s almost something that brings them down into a lower place.
Narcissists are users. When they are saying “you’re not me” the implication is “I wish I could turn you into a mini-me so that you can make me feel better and do all sorts of things that are going to give me pleasure.” Narcissists have questions in their minds, “What have you done for me lately and what are you going to do for me next?” They are users, exploiters in search for narcissistic supply. “You’re not me” implies you’re not giving me the supply and complying with my regulation
They cannot or will not see your positive traits. When a narcissist is thinking “you’re not me” they overlook the fact that you’ve got some good characteristics.” “Why don’t I slow down and appreciate that.” In fact, when they see what you consider to be your positive characteristics they say “Its fake.” If you show some positive characteristics they say “oh, you’re just manipulating” (which is their projection). If you show your positive characteristics, it’s like “unimpressed” because you’re not me.
It is exasperating. When you are around these individuals, that theme permeates so much of their interaction style.
So what is going to be your response when the narcissist says “you’re not me.” The first response is “That’s correct.” “I’m not you and I gladly embrace it.” Your rejection doesn’t threaten me. In fact, your rejection stimulates me to become a better person. Knowing that you’re not like me, and you knowing you are going to find that a big huge blight against me, my response as I continue will be I’ll cease hiding my real self. I’m going to cease appeasing and justifying who I am. I’m going to cease arguing. What’s the point? I’m going to cease worrying or fretting what you’re attitude might be next. I’m going to cease changing my good plans just to get along with you, when in fact, you are never going to be pleased anyway. I’m also going to cease wondering if you’re going to be in a good mood today. So the next time you realize you’re in a situation and you realize that the narcissist is over there thinking “you’re not me”, there is one ultimate response I’m going to have towards that and that is “thanks for the compliment
Lynn McIntosh
Relationship Coach and author
Are you looking out for physical health, leadership skills, mindset health and image branding strengthening tools to be the best version of yourself? Subscribe to weekly free powerful updates of an online magazine Womenlines for free. Click https://www.womenlines.com!
Womenlines takes pleasure to welcome Prof K. K. Varma, author of ‘Life and Times of Unborn Kamla’, which is an intriguing book addressing issues of diminishing girls due to female feticide and infanticide in India. The book is certainly a must-read as it can make people introspect to find some solution and attract the attention of right authorities and associations who can put collective efforts to solve this problem. Please visit the links mentioned below to place your order for the book. In the interview read and listen to Prof Varma why he was so much moved to write a book on such a crucial topic-
Beginning his career with a teaching stint at IIT Kharagpur, Professor K. K. Varma has spent long years in social sectors. His professional expertise relates to Social and Policy research; Gender Issues and women’s empowerment, Reproductive & Sexual Health; Project development and management.
Professor Varma has handled various responsibilities in different capacities; working with Government of India, UN agency, a few international organizations. He is currently associated with women-children centric NGO- Aarohan– based in Delhi. Besides, he has been associated, from time to time, with many esteemed Apex institutions in India like CII, ASSOCHAM; and academic institutions such as Amity University, IIFT; to name a few.
1) Please share about yourself and about the interesting book which you have written.
Well. I have been working in the social sector on women and children issues for more than thirty-five years. I have been an Alumnus and member of faculty (IIT-Kharagpur, India); having worked with an academic institution, Private Company, the government of India, national and international charities and the United Nations.
Presently I am working as a Consultant/ Technical Advisor to Aarohan–NGO based in Delhi. Also, receive invites to deliver lectures in plenary sessions at conferences. I am also an Author. The book is based on my long professional experience in the development sector on women and children’s issues.
2) Why did you choose to write on this topic? Any particular reason for it?
Human sufferings have always hurt me deeply even when I have not been in any position to do anything to alleviate it. Growing up as a development professional -the issue of human rights violations touched me deeply-often shaking my conscience and emotions. Such feelings increasingly got imbibed over the long years of working in social and developmental sectors particularly on women-centric issues.
What has been most unfortunate, reports about the low status of women in Indian society, gender-based differentiation; atrocities and crimes, physical and sexual assault; and unabashed practice of aborting female fetus has kept appearing in various media from time to time with religious regularity… but these have simply failed to evoke any desired response from appropriate quarters.
The first-hand exposure to such social maladies could be made possible during my visit (as part of official responsibilities) to community projects (donor-funded) across the length and breadth of the country. Meeting, interacting with project communities mainly women opened a sort of Pandora Box!
Strangulating female fetus –an act of denying someone the intrinsic right “to be born” not only defy all limits of barbarism, human sensitivity and civility…but also inflicts deep wounds – a permanent scar on a woman’s mind- could be known only while working in outreach with the community during which I was confronted with its resultant repercussions and deeper scars.
Such exposure shook me no end! One basic question which troubled me and also most of us, I presume: “How can anyone deny the basic human rights to the newborn?” How can fathers implanting the seed of a child into the woman’s womb kill if the fetus germinating in his wife’s womb is female?
Seen in this context, the book may be considered as an expression of mental anguish, a strong resolve to voice concerns, raise the issue in public domain, little realizing that the book may/is possibly is the very first comprehensive documentation on the problem of vanishing girls consequent to female feticide!
3) Who is Kamla (the protagonist of the book) and how she impacted you?
Well “Kamla” is a symbolic name! It symbolizes Girl! This name is most common across all socio-economic strata of the society- ranging from one living in rural India to urban slums, to late Smt. Kamla Naidu, as is the case of female fetus abortions!
4) For any problem, there has to be a solution. According to you, what solutions can you suggest for this big problem?
To my mind, two aspects are critical and must be taken up with all the seriousness.
These are- introducing a comprehensive course on India’s civilizations, culture, ethics and moral education at the primary level of schooling so that there are everlasting impressions on the impressionable mind of the children who grow up into adults with right values and balanced, unprejudiced mindset; and a strong programmatic approach which lays adequate emphasis on “converting perceived liabilities into lucrative economic assets!”
5) Which is your favourite book and any plans to write a new book in the coming future?
Well, you may laugh, but there are quite a few books among my favourites; such as “Tiger’s Tale” (by Late Mansoor Ali Khan of Pataudi, the former Captain of India Cricket Team); 20 Minutes at Entebbe ( on the famous incident of rescuing passengers aboard Israeli Airlines from Entebbe airport, Uganda); presently “ Romancing with Life”(an autobiography of Late Mr Dev Anand, the Indian film star).
I am planning a book on Transgender!
Amazon.in: Visit Buy ‘ Life and Times of Unborn Kamla’
Womenlines is delighted to share about Anjalika, an IITTI (CANADA) certified professional Personal Branding & Lifestyle Consultant, as an Influencer for Image Branding at Womenlines. Yes womenfolk, gear up to learn the tips and tricks to carry yourself with excellence and make excellence your brand. Check out incredible tips shared by Anjalika in her podcast, to look fabulous after 40-
Here is my take on staying and looking fabulous, in short, slaying your 40s and beyond–
* Determine your Style Personality
* Have these wardrobe essentials
– white shirt
– well-fitted dress
– long well-fitted trousers
– well-fitted blazer
– dark jeans.
* Know the current fashion trends–
Have few of current fashion pieces in your wardrobe.
* Accessorize–
Create your own unique look
* Wear trendy shoes–
Footwear can single handedly change the vibe.
* Not too matchy
Looking too matchy or polished can age a person!
Zu Anjalika Kamis Gunnulfsen is the Editor (Singapore) for Marketing In Asia and certified Image Branding & Lifestyle Consultant. She was also crowned Mrs Singapore Globe 2017. Born in Singapore and blessed to have lived in a couple of other amazing cities in the world, Anjalika is currently expatriating in Kuala Lumpur. Follow her on LinkedIn, Instagram and blog
LinkedIn –https://www.linkedin.com/in/zuanjalika/