While I have been spending the last 2 weeks of December 2009 just relaxing and spending time with my family, especially my little girl, I have witnessed the frenzy of Christmas shoppers in both the cities of Singapore and Malaysia – the two cities I am currently based in.
I work with a lot of women in my field of training in Personal Image and Empowerment and I have discovered that many women are very concerned about their appearances and how they can beautify themselves better.
This leads me to the topic of personal brands and labels. Whether we like or not we are constantly judging people by their looks on the outside. We have been guilty of branding others based on education, looks, weight, “perceived intelligence”, colour of the skin, the colour of their hair, height, wealth, culture, who we marry, the bags we carry etc etc. We are constantly branding others and in turn are branded branded branded.
Companies who sell consumer products know just how to tap this emotion of insecurity to further promote their products.
Women I work with in my training are concerned about what others think of them especially how they look like. Often they are unhappy when others misjudge them based on their outer appearance and want to know how to make themselves appear “IN”. Male prisoners, I work with also have an insecurity issue about how society will brand them after they leave prison. They want to know how to fit in, how to re-brand themselves away from their criminal past and how to be accepted. Executives and CEOS that I work with also want to learn how to make themselves look more trustworthy, approachable yet representable of their position and to basically learn how to fit in better with their group.
Basically, this represents human behaviour and in today’s high society, people are getting even more concerned with how they are perceived by others. From my experience, women particularly are more concerned about their image and how others in the society see them. Again, whether we like it or not, we are always branded by others. My take on this? Brand yourself first before others brand you…and do not allow yourself to be branded by what material things you have or wear.
So how do you brand yourself and what should your brand be? Well, the vision is YOURS.
1. First of all, what is the industry that you want to brand yourself in when it comes to your career? When you stay in a certain industry, people will remember you as the person who bakes cakes, or the entrepreneur mom, or the lady who organises events, etc. You want to be remembered as someone people can associate with a particular industry. The danger of people who moves around too much across industries often is when people cannot associate her with someone committed in her career…and that would be her “brand”!
2. Who is your target audience? Who are you basically branding yourself for? Is it for your work? For your customers? Friends? How do you want yourself to be perceived by them? Always remember that your audience will remember you based on the first time you presented yourself to them so be yourself, be honest and be comfortable. Often people are not themselves the first time they meet new people that they get comments like, “you know, the first time we met you we thought you were…….., but now, wow! You’re not at all like that..” It sounds like a praise, but really, it is a message that what we project may not be who we really are. This can go against you in the future when you are in a job interview, meeting new people or presenting for the first time to a group of potential clients.
3. Which of your personality traits and passions will resonate with your target audience? Similarities always make people feel closer together so highlight the similarities whether in the language and “slang” you use, or clothes that you wear. However, always keep in mind to be yourself. Do not put on a fake accent your lie about your background. A person does not have to learn lie detection skills to feel a fake.
4. What is the most important skill the target audience should know about? When you can relay this message through your work, through promoting your brand to others, this skill will remain in the minds of your target audience.
5. What makes you credible? Integrity, responsibility, commitment are values that people will remember you by. A strong personal brand is when a person hears your name or sees you, a certain positive feeling or thought comes into play. This feeling or emotion that others feel about you is that brand that you carry. Remember, whatever comes out of your actions, your mouth, your thoughts and reactions create this brand called “YOU”. If you constantly say things that are not reflected in your actions or the results that you show constantly, your brand becomes “untrustworthy”.
How do create reinforce your brand through your demeanour?
1. Dress according to how you want to be perceived
2. Always take care of your personal hygiene. Often times, people dress well and say all the right things but the two major deal breakers are bad breath and body odour. Somehow these overtake a person’s good personal brand.
3. Do you look rested? Women have this advantage with makeup to camouflage tired looking eyes J
4. What you wear every day also affects your brand
5. What comes out of your mouth when you speak
6. Who do you surround yourself with constantly
In this new year, many resolves to make positive changes with their lives – some of these resolutions could be to rebrand or reinvent themselves. You can create your change. However, be aware that perhaps the people who do not support your change or trust your change mostly come from family members who claim they know you better. I believe that only you know yourself better and the best way is to present the real you to others and not be someone you are not just to please others.
I wish you all the best in this NEW YEAR! May all your New Year resolutions come true faster than you expect. I know one of my resolutions include to brand others less and work on myself more. With Love & Respect,
M &Z Empowerment Centre in KL and Singapore
Founder and Director
Dazzling Divas, was a fun-filled programme for ladies, organized with the motive of integrating the female immigrants, with the Singaporeans and to provide some fun and amusement to make them have a feel of their home country. Women from different walks of life, from different parts of Singapore, visited the event.
Dazzling Divas was an amazing effort by Indian expat ladies, who displayed their talents in various programmes in the event. The event was well supported by Sengkang Women Executive Committee (WEC) – a People’s Association Organization. Held at Sengkang Community Club, on 14th November 2009, Saturday, 7:00-1000 pm Dazzling Divas was an entertaining night for the female audience.
The organizing committee was chaired by Ms Kamini Chaliki and was ably supported by Ms Charu and Ms Mrunal with guidance from Ms Azeeza. Ms Kamini took the initiative to organize the whole event with the support of Chairman Sengkang WEC.
Dazzling Divas was successful in providing entertainment to the female audience. The theme for the month was “Colours of India”. The programme was started with the Mehendi and Rangoli competition. There were active participation and participants came out with very amazingly creative Rangoli and Mehndi Patterns. Ms Arpita Karandikar was the winner for Mehendi competition and Ms Saujanya was the winner for Rangoli competition. There were some sweet performances by kids on some Bollywood and Kollywood m numbers, which was well received by the audience. So many multifaceted women got a chance to showcase their talents by participating in this event. The interesting fact is that many participants never met each other personally before the event and interacted virtually through a social networking site. The evening unfolded with surprise in terms of comic caper Singapore version of Ramayana, enacted by some enterprising ladies from IIS theatre group, that kept everyone in splits. Also, a very well coordinated and in-sync National Integration Fashion Show was a huge success with the audience due to elegant costumes, beautiful jewellery; Ms Sunita Prashant was the choreographer for the fashion show. The main attraction of the show was the dazzling divas’ performance by lovely ladies who danced on hit Bollywood like from Jab we met, Kajra re numbers from old generation to latest hit songs.
Ms Shakun Narang, from the audience, said “Truly Dazzling Divas was a platform that gave women in Singapore a platform to showcase their inner elegance, beauty and substance they are made of. More than that, the event brought in a kind of bonhomie and togetherness that we all Indian women crave for in a home away from home. “
The crowd of 150 ladies enjoyed the whole programme, tasty Indian food, participated actively in games and had the fun time while dancing on hit Bollywood numbers. Ms Deepti Rawat, from the audience, commented that “It was an evening with the stunning performance of talented dancers, hilarious comedy skit, fashion show, games and lucky draw too. In 10 years of my married life, this was my first party without my husband where I enjoyed a lot. I got a chance to learn catwalk, there, thanks to WEC.”
The show was sponsored by a go to website mysingapore.com.sg, which brings the latest happenings events related to art, culture, movies, restaurants, with a distinctly Indian point of view. Four Seasons Spa located at Midpoint Orchard road was the other sponsor for the event. Miss Nisha gifted valued vouchers for her beauty and tailoring services for the lucky draw winners.
The regular get-together for immigrants can really help in diminishing the line of difference between Singaporeans (existing & immigrants) so that they can mutually benefit each other by exchanging knowledge and having some amusement and regalement together.
Charu Mehrotra
Promoting Excellence in Women!
Kids cannot sit idle. With bubbling, energy kids love to keep themselves busy with various activities around. Whether its art craft activity or dance, singing, any creative activity will bring out their real talent outside. Some activities really help to nurture certain specific skills in them. Through this series, women lines want to share those activities with its readers which will really help in a meaningful way-
1-Create and Imagine-
If you want to teach certain practical knowledge for everyday living this activity will help you a lot.
Place a large sheet of paper on the floor.Ask your child to draw a picture of your home in the centre of the paper and title the map with the name.Draw your street, write your street name, and your house and telephone numbers.
Have your child place on X on the map to mark important places in the neighbourhood. like school, store, shopping complex, friend’s house, fire station, police station, clinic, etc. Talk with your child bout which place is nearest to your place. Post the map on the fridge and so that your child can have a look at it every day. Encourage the child to put other places on the map also.
2-Time marches on
This activity helps your child see and feel and see the difference between a “few second” and a “few minute”. It will help your child learn to be on time.
Make guesses about how long a traffic light is red or green. Then check your guesses, about how long it takes to eat dinner.Then check your guesses.How long does it take to get ready and go out? How close each one of you come close to right answers.
Have fun while playing these games!
Charu Mehrotra
Promoting Excellence in women!
Its not Life threatening, BUT its definitely “Quality of Life” Threatening Condition!
Most people know endometriosis as a condition that can cause infertility, but the commonest symptom is pain. Pain with periods, pain with sex, pain opening their bowels, or pelvic pain on most days of the month. Many women with endometriosis become pregnant easily.
Endometriosis is common, but because many women don’t talk about their symptoms, we often don’t realise that it affects between 1 in 10 and 1 in 20 women. For many years, endometriosis was thought to be an uncommon condition of women in their 30s and 40s. We now know that it is a common condition of women in their teens and 20s.
The lining of the uterus is called endometrium. This is the tissue that grows each month and bleeds away during a period. When tissue like endometrium is found outside the uterus it is called endometriosis.
How is endometriosis diagnosed?
The only reliable way to diagnose endometriosis is by laparoscopy. This is an operation where a telescope is inserted through the umbilicus (belly button) to view the organs inside the pelvis. Endometriosis lesions can be clear, pink, red, brown or black.
An ultrasound examination is usually normal unless there are large cysts of endometriosis in the ovaries. These are called endometriomas or chocolate cysts. So, even if an ultrasound is normal, endometriosis can still be present.
What sort of problems can endometriosis cause?
Endometriosis presents in many ways. Common presentations include:
- Women with no pain, who are found to have endometriosis during investigation for infertility.
- Women who have severe period pain, often from their teenage years, but are well at other times of the month. Pain with periods is called dysmenorrhoea.
- Women who have a mix of pain symptoms on most days of the month. This is called chronic pelvic pain. They may have a variety of symptoms including sharp or stabbing pains, changes in bladder function or changes in bowel function.
How is endometriosis managed?
Each woman with endometriosis is different, so the best treatment for each woman will depend on what type of problems she has.
In couples who are unable to become pregnant:
- It is important to get a full picture of all the possible contributing factors. This includes testing her husbands’ semen. Endometriosis may be only one of the fertility problems present.
- A laparoscopy to remove the endometriosis may be enough to improve her fertility
- If pregnancy does not occur after this, then invitro fertilisation (IVF) may be necessary
In women with painful periods, but who are otherwise well the pain may be from the uterus, from endometriosis lesions in the pelvis or from both these areas:
- It is best to first try medications such as anti-inflammatories (e.g. ibuprofen, naproxen, diclofenac), because not all women with painful periods have endometriosis. The medications should be taken early in the period and continued regularly until the pain resolves.
- If no better, then the oral contraceptive pill or acupuncture may be helpful
- If no better, then a laparoscopy with excision (cutting out) of any endometriosis should be considered.
- Sometimes a device called a mirena iucd is used. This is a way of putting progestogen medication inside the uterus and is often very helpful at making periods light and less painful
In women with chronic pelvic pain, treatment is more complicated. Often there are many different symptoms, so no single treatment will fix all her problems. It is often helpful to write down each symptom and plan treatment for each one:
- Period pain over several days (rather than just 1-2 days), pain opening bowels with periods, and endometriomas are best managed with high quality laparoscopic surgery. This can be very difficult surgery and it is important that the surgeon involved has extensive experience with laparoscopic surgical excision. Other alternatives include norethisterone tablets taken daily to avoid periods or a mirena iucd.
- Sharp, stabbing pains, increased sensitivity in the abdomen, soreness near the opening of the vagina, sharp pains that wake her at night, and some types of pain with intercourse are often due to a change in the way nerves in the pelvis function. This is called neuropathic pain. It responds best to medications such as amitriptyline or gabapentin in very low dose. It will also be worse if she is overtired or overstressed.
- Bladder symptoms of frequency (going to toilet more often), nocturia (getting up at night), urgency (needing to rush to the toilet) and some types of pain with intercourse may be due to a condition called interstitial cystitis. It is common in women with endometriosis and needs a special type of test called a cystoscopy and hydrodistension to diagnose. Useful information can be found at www.ic-network.com
- Bowel changes such as constipation, diarrhoea and pelvic discomfort sometimes improve with surgery, but are often due to food intolerances or an irritable bowel.
- Pelvic pain which is worse in different positions or with different activities and some types of pain with intercourse is often due to spasm of the pelvic floor muscles. The muscles just inside the vagina are tight and pressure on them causes pain. Treatment options include pelvic floor physiotherapy, botox injections in the pelvic floor muscles to relieve the spasm, and sometimes low doses of amitriptyline.
Many women with chronic pelvic pain also suffer tiredness and may feel generally unwell. Even when their symptoms improve, they require a lot of emotional support from their family and friends to return to an active and healthy life.
Written by; -Dr Susan Evans is a Pelvic & Laproscopic Surgeon & author of ‘Endometriosis and other pelvic pain’ written for women with endometriosis. It is available from her website: http://www.drsusanevans.com
She is also the co-founder of the Asia Pacific Endometriosis Alliance & co-founder of Australian Endometriosis Centre, Adelaide Branch.
Her books will be available in Singapore in the World Women Health 2009, November 28th 2-6pm. Suntec City – Rooms303-306.
Registration details at
http://www.worldwomenhealth2009.com.html
The digital photo frame is a wonderful innovative gift by technology to us. It is a fantabulous product and a must buy for every family!
Keep photos and videos of your loved ones close, easily select photos, slideshow, videos, listen to recorded voices in a go. Snaps are memories forever and everybody loves to keep these bundles of memories with utmost care.
When we stay alone far from our place we belong, it becomes challenging at times to build that emotional bonding between your kids and your own people, as they seldom meet them.Then this frame can help you to keep reviving your kid’s memories and help him to remember their near and dear ones. Kids love to be photographed and when they keep on seeing their childhood photographs and the way they were in their childhood they feel very good about it. It helps to build their emotional quotient and self-esteem too.
For families also it’s a good thing to have a look occasionally on the snaps of different periods of their life. It strengthens the bonding between the family members by cherishing those moments of laughter and fun together. But of course, you have to take out time for it!
Digital photo frames are common in 7 inches to 12-inch sizes. Most digital photo frames display the photos as a slideshow and usually with an adjustable time interval. They also can send photos to the printer.Others support additional multimedia content, including movie clips recorded in a digital camera movie mode, MP3 audio.
Certain frames can load pictures over the Internet also from RSS feeds, photo sharing sites such as Picasa and from-mail. Such networked models usually support wireless connections.Built-in speakers are common for playing video content with sound, and many frames come with remote controls.
A digital frame provides the same emotion-rich experience as a traditional photo album without handling and without occupying the computer or the TV set. Eye-catching in the room, it is also an easy way to show off pictures to visitors. It provides an immediate way of sharing photos.As prices for digital frames are falling sharply and innovative features such as transferring photographs instantly in your parent’s wireless digital frame while you are somewhere else, is making this gadget a must buy for every family!
Charu Mehrotra
Promoting Excellence in Women!
It was interesting to read about Dame Anita Roddick founder of Body Shop, in a book named Exceptional Entrepreneurship, which reports real-life lessons from top business leaders!
Dame Anita Roddick was the owner of Body Shop, which, has 2,400 stores in 61 countries, and is the second largest cosmetic franchise in the world, following O Boticario, a Brazilian company.The body shop is now part of the L’Oreal corporate group.
During her lifetime, Body Shop founder Anita Roddick had built a reputation for innovation, integrity and social responsibility. She died at age of 64, in 2007 as she suffered from a major brain haemorrhage.
Dame Anita set up the first Body Shop in Brighton in 1976. She pioneered cruelty-free beauty products and turned them into a highly profitable business. She is a real inspiration to all businesswomen. To quote her from this book-
“ I am aware that success is more than a good idea. It is timing too. The Body Shop arrived just as Europe was going ‘green’. The Body Shop has always been recognizable by its green colour, the only colour that we could find to cover the damp, mouldy walls of my first shop. The company went public in 1984. Since then, I have been given a whole host of awards, some I understand, some I don’t and a couple I think I deserve. Businesses have the power to do good. That’s why The Body Shop’s Mission Statement opens with the overriding commitment, ‘To dedicate our business to the pursuit of social and environmental change.’ We use our stores and our products to help communicate human rights and environmental issues.”
It is so inspiring to know about the passion of Anita Roddick to work for climate and environment safety through her work. Her campaigns are the reflection of her motives in life to make this world a safe place to live.
Some of her campaigns-
· 1985 – Stop the dumping of toxic waste in the North Sea, Greenpeace
· 1986 – Campaign against whaling of sperm whales, Greenpeace
· 1987 – Acid Rain pollution, Friends of the Earth
· 1987 – Published first ‘Green’ Diary, Friends of the Earth
· 980s – Against Animal Testing for cosmetics, collected 4 million signatures through shops
· 1990 – The Body Shop Foundation set-up. Over first 6 years of operation donated more than 3.5 million pounds to 180 charitable groups
· 1990 – Set-up project to refurbish 3 Romanian orphanages. Work extended into Albania and Bosnia
· 1991 – Funded Unrepresented Nations and Peoples Organization
· 1993-98 – Ogoni Campaign against Shell and Nigeria
Anita Roddick was having a basket full of various awards from various governments like in 1984 – Veuve Clicquot Business Woman of the Year, 1988 – OBE – Order of the British Empire, 1996 – Women’s Center’s Leadership Award, USA and much more.
Some of her inspiring quotes which I came across this book-
“When enthusiasm comes from heart its unstoppable because of its driving your life and its part of the template of who you are.”
“Women are good at combining their interests with their skills and transforming them into a livelihood.”
“Entrepreneurs are anti-hierarchical creative people who are obsessed with their businesses. They are also a fountain of ideas but often need others to help make them happen.”
Anita Roddick is an inspiration to all those businesswomen who want to do something in life with a difference!
Charu Mehrotra
Promoting Excellence in Women!
Myyoungchild.org is an Internet site for online stories for kids about different good qualities.
Stories have always been a part of life for every kid around. In old times when there were joint families there, grandparents were always having bundles of stories to share with little ones of the family. These stories touching various topics like the importance of honesty in life, helping others, were quite helpful in teaching kids the basic values of life. In today’s times when most families are nuclear then site myyoungchild.org will definitely help parents to occupy their kids in some quality time spending on the Internet. Information below is a sort of official information regarding site-
As a parent, do you get a sinking feeling when you turn on the television news and hear tales of children shooting children, of parents hiding their son in an attic to attract attention to their weather balloon invention, of famed performers and sports players spewing disrespectful comments—to say nothing of swindlers like Bernie Maddox?
Myyoungchild.org provides just the resources parents and educators need to help teach children values and ethics in a world that sometimes seems adrift.
Sixteen beautifully illustrated online stories present situations that 3-7-year-old children can relate to: learning right from wrong, sharing at school, respecting friends and grandparents, telling the truth, being fair and responsible, developing patience, dealing with bullies, showing good manners and more. The stories on the easily accessible site use entertaining characters in situations that children can connect to their daily lives. Each story is followed by parenting tips targeted to specific social and ethical skills—tips that explain to parents at what age children can understand different moral concepts, how to talk to their children about these issues, and examples of how parents can help their children develop these values and ethics. A 3-minute online video illustrates through pictures and quotations the rewards of parenting and is ideal to be used in a school setting with parents. Other educational sections on the website include suggestions for parents on how to teach literacy, suggestions for educators on how to teach values and social skills in the curriculum, and how to use the stories to develop literacy. All the materials on Myyoungchild.org can be downloaded and used freely with children, parents, and educators.
Myyoungchild.org is a non-profit site developed by the Early Parenting Foundation. It was begun by Wilbur S. Edwards, a recent retiree from a long career in the educational video production market, who felt strongly that certain values were lacking in our society. He enlisted Nancy Morgan, an educational consultant he had worked with before, and Holly Bell, a preschool teacher, and illustrator, to create the online stories. “Our stories give parents and teachers the tools so they can discuss important values with children such as honesty, integrity, respect, and civility—values that are so needed in our society today. Our goal is to help children make good choices and lead more satisfying lives,” says Edwards.
For more information, visit Myyoungchild.org or contact Wilbur Edwards of the Early Parenting Foundation at 847.381.0768.
A must visit site for every parent!
Charu Mehrotra
Promoting Excellence in Women!
How often you have yelled or screamed at your kids!
Think about it. Majority of parents have done it many times, and they cannot recall the exact numbers it is a part of life. When your kid is not listening to you, you scream at him. Your kid is watching television and you ask him to close it as his time is over, but he ignores, the result is, a big scream from your side. I just realized how often I do throughout a week. I was forced to think about this habit after coming across this article in New York Times.
As a parent, I have learned a lot, how to control my pitch of sound while interacting with my kid, how to suppress my anger when he goes to extremes, but there are limits and at times I lose my patience and simply scream at him. And the whole day I feel guilty. Again the cycle starts and I control my pitch.This article is really a checkpoint for parents as how they are reacting to their kids.
Doctors suggest that yelling is ineffective and it damages child’s self-esteem.Yelling should be avoided, just think how you will feel when your boss yells at you, then think about your poor kid. It will be a very humiliating experience for him. Think about the reasons for your yelling. At times as a parent, we are in anxiety for multitasking, and we are not able to deliver favorable results. That frustration is released while we yell, as most of the parents think.
To yell or not to yell is in our hand. The thing is that we have to realize the fact that it is in our control and every parent loves his child so let’s pledge that no more yelling at our kids!
Charu Mehrotra
Promoting Excellence in Women!
How important is the special time spent with kids! Time is precious and whatever time is spent with kids has to be full of mindfulness and full presence in the moment.
I came across this article by Dr Karen Saze, which opened my mind regarding the way we spend our time with our kids-
As homemakers, most of the mothers will definitely raise questions regarding this topic. They spend the whole day with their kids then what is special time reference? Indeed mothers spend time with their kids but they never realize that the quality of time they spend with their kids has lots of impact on your kid’s personality. As this article guides you about the importance of the way you spend time with your kid, you will also learn that kids need your love and praise, not your commands and orders.
As parents, we at times become cops just getting anxious to secure our kids future and preparing them for the journey of life. We always forget the importance of precious moments of life which will never come back once gone. We should try to spend those moments of life filling with love and affection for our kids. They are a bundle of innocence. Let’s provide them with an atmosphere of love, praises, and serenity around so that they can grow up to be individuals full of love and emotions.
Charu Mehrotra
Promoting Excellence in Women!
The trend of organising a kitty party is picking up fast. There are many creative kitty party ideas which can be planned out with full of fun.
Every woman loves to dress up nicely, try out new restaurants, try out new cuisines, participate in games organized in kitties and just have fun for themselves for few hours!
There is nothing bad about this concept. After all, everybody wants fun in life. While going through the regular routine of life, handling kids, kitchen, managing home, family, a job it becomes a necessity for womenfolk to indulge in some activity which will provide fun for themselves. Through kitty parties, women are also getting the opportunity to show their creativity in different ways. The way they dress up, hair styling and few are in special planning for games for parties in different ways.
With changing time ways for partying is also changing. We as women definitely need time for fun but if this fun time planned properly then it can be used for the mutual benefit of womenfolk. There are so many things which can be planned while organizing these parties. How about having a party without high-calorie food. The menu can be planned keeping calories in mind. Potluck can also be planned where every lady brings some diet dish keeping in mind the spirit of party. Once a while discussions can be done where every member speaks about herself, her hobbies, what her vision.The topic for discussion can be predecided and thus the exchange of knowledge can happen which will mutually benefit everybody. How about visiting an orphanage or NGO and spending some time. You can also carry handmade food for people there. That will bring some charity purpose in life
There are so many creative ways in which these parties can be planned and which can really mutually benefit to every member of the kitty. Family picnics can be planned together, halls can be booked to have performances by the members, competitions can be organized on occasion of festivals.
Every woman is a unique creativity by God in herself. Don’t let that feminism and creativity die due to certain excuses. Things can be better for everybody if you just think about it. If you are happy then your family will be happier. Find ways to make yourself happier while carrying out other responsibilities in life. Stop cribbing of lesser time. Whatever is the situation in life you have to face it.
Let’s have a party with a purpose!
Charu Mehrotra
Promoting Excellence in Women!