Women Lines

Its my love  and full attention I want to give to my baby!

This was the first thought which came into  my mind when I  delivered my baby. I never knew that journey will be so challenging. Mindfulmotherhood talks about being present to needs of your baby and giving full attention to him. Its all about being present for your baby needs and attending to his requirements with presence of mind. Its very practical for my mother as she thinks being a mother this should be my natural behaviour. But honestly its not. Its really challenging to put my all thoughts and attention for my baby as in today’s fast moving world there are so many inputs and outputs to attend.

Thanks to authors who write parenting books which really guides us about facts of parenting which we can only  realize once we read it. “Mindful Motherhood’ is one book which really opened my eyes regarding mindful parenting. Casdsandra Vietan, author of the book, guides you about practical tools for staying sane during pregnancy and your child’s first year.Casandra emphasizes that “Mindfulness can help you meet the challenge and approach every experience with your new baby with open eyes and open heart”.

Chapters like ‘The observing self’ and ‘The train of thought’ are amazingly described where you get a new vision about yourself and handful tips provided at the end of the chapter really helps in giving you new insight for motherhood.

Motherhood is a journey of bonding with your babies forever. Don’t miss those precious moments of life in everyday ratrace. The best gift which any mother can give to her kid is ‘ Mindful Motherhood’.

World is full of distractions and thus its very important to live in present. I am greatful to God that I came across this book while browsing parenting section of a library. The way different topics are discussed and various ways are suggested which can help you to follow mindful parenting is really helpful but only if you practise!

To be mindful always is really a skill which has to be developed by practise.

Womenlines wants to share this article on parenting by Pooja Kawatra Gupta with its readers. Pooja is a mother who is enjoying her motherhood period by sharing her experiences with a group(she has formed on orkut) of other mothers(1000 mothers approx) on orkut. Here goes the story-

The day Aayan was born we knew that we both have come a long way from just being good friend, as a lover, as a husband & wife and now as a parent .He has given the new meaning to our life.. we realize that as a first time parent there were lot of things which we will be learning everyday .

Just reminded me that ” Kids are teachers and we are student”

Every new day comes as a beautiful moment to cherish for the life long. The day when you saw your baby in scan reports, when baby took the shape, his tiny little hands & feet, his heartbeat and every time your heart beat you think for a moment is it my heartbeat or my baby..Then you just smile back and say he is my heartbeat .That’s one in a lifetime when you have two heartbeat ..

When you hold your baby for the first time and keep remembering many of his first few and the day he says Papa & Mumma..You are at top of this world ..!! Aren’t we waited for this long to hear these beautiful words .

We know that with every new generation parents wants to give best to their baby .Trust me it not only babies have change over a period of time , parenting has gone under huge change. In today’s world it’s not just mother who is taking are of babies at home.. Fathers are equally involved in all the activities..right from the doctors visit at Gynaecologist to vaccination for Baby, which definitely gives mothers sometime for themselves.

Though with raising your baby, parents hardly get anytime for themselves but believe me raising your baby together not only give your baby but yourselves a lifelong security and comfort that both yes we were always there with our kids in each and every step he took in his growing years.

I still remember the time when I was expecting as been a working mother & staying far away from our parents, a first time parents we had enough of queries in our mind.. Why my baby is crying, is he hungry , not well, is there anything which I am unable to understand and so on..
So, my this first hand experience with raising my little son Aayan gave me the inspiration to start a platform where not only we all mums come together to help and resolve each other queries but to become friends for a lifetime. This is when I started a community : Mums & Babies ,we are close to 1,000 mums.. today with love & support of all wonderful mums, who have come long way to share their valuable experience, the best of the tips.. Our little wonders have got friends as well..

 http://www.orkut.com/Main#Community?cmm=50694960

If you are a new Mom then join her community to share the warmth and happiness of one big family……

Children need to feel our endless, unconditional love in order to grow, learn and trust. They need to love themselves so they can learn to love others.   

It’s a very natural fact for every parent and don’t think I am preaching the basics of parenting that please love your child, because every parent on this earth loves has  boundless love for their kids. My emphasis is on the second line that they have to love themselves first so that they can  have the feel of this emotion for everybody around them. This can be done only if he is getting ample of love from his near and dear one. THIS LOVE SHOULD BE EXPRESSED LOVE IN SOME FORM. No doubt that you must be having ample of love for your child but what matters is how you express it. Do you express it by buying gifts and toys for him. Or do you express by taking him out for his outings. Love shouldn’t be dependent upon material things. It should come out straight from heart and if you express it to your kid in some creative ways then it will leave everlasting effect on him. 

Kids must trust you that no matter what happens, whatever mistake they do they can come to you and you are always there for them. If this trust is there then nothing can come between you and your kid. 

I came across interesting sharing from a mother that how she  tied a little silver whistle from a long, red ribbon to hang on a wooden heart with a peg  and painted the words “Need a little hug? Give a little whistle!” around the edge of the heart. She hanged it on the kitchen wall. She was little apprehensive initially and thought that her kids are might too old for that and would think it is silly.But she heard the whistle blew,time by time, year after year. I consider it as a most wonderful way of communicating that kids need our time, they need to talk or need a hug. 

If you have will there are ways…Just give a thought how you want to love your kid!

Are you taking your parenting job very seriously?

Then you might be coming in smothering parent category with !

Take a break. Parenting is not a project to be finished with perfection. Its a life long journey and it has to be dealt with its requirement as and when needed.  Give space to your kids and to yourself too.

Parenting has become a big subject in today’s society and there are abundant books, classes, coaches, to guide you how to be a successful parent. But mind you, if your kid is observing you tensed and always worried . about some issue relating to him,whether its his studies, or diet or even hobby class he will never like it. He will more be pleased if he is observing you happy and contended with your life and taking it easily. Don’t create complications and unnecessary pressure for yourself by trying to be a cop parent.

Kids find their parents as their role model and they will exactly behave as you behave in your life. This should be warning signal for you  as whatever emotions also you are going through will effect him and will replicate you same way when he will grow up.

Start checking yourself if you are interfering in your kid’s life too much. Don’t always be bothered if he is not keeping up perfectly to everything you want from him. Let him be a normal individual who can also make mistakes and learn from them.

Life will be more full of happiness and love around if every individual is  having space for themselves and enjoying it individually under their own capacity.So stop being a smothering parent and let some oxygen come in between your life.

Recognizing children’s assets is another way which can helps us in moulding our child’s behaviour positively!

When we think of assets, we usually think about money in the bank or property, and natural resources like oil or gold. But every human being also has personal assets like gift of heart, mind, and that’s his true wealth. The more a person understands what these are and develops them , the richer his or her life will be. I came across this thought in one parenting book -”Every child is unique in himself. There may be particular talents, strengths, and conditions that are natural to follow when he or she learns. Being ineffective and going against a child’s grain is what squanders human resources. A willingness to wonder and be curious with a child about how to use his or her assets to overcome challenges increases effectiveness.”

There are different patterns which can help in determining those assets in our kids. Observe these features-

1.What are our child’s accomplishments?

2.What helps our child to concentrate , make decisions, and imagine new possibilities?

3. We have to give a thought on innate ways of thinking that our child excels at and is energized by.

It is emphasized in some parenting books that “Children whose assets have been recognized and supported are strong learners who trust their own abilities, they know and can explain how they learn and recognize what they need in any given situation. They can maximize both internal and external resources to satisfy those needs. They have ready access to their inventiveness, courage, intuition, and concentration. They know how to solve problem creatively, to care for themselves, to think well with others, to motivate themselves, and to evaluate their own performance. They know they matter, they know they are important, they know they can make difference to world”.

How much important is to recognize our child’s assets!

As a parent we have to shift our attention to child’s capabilities. Instead of worrying that our kid is not up to some performance like other kids, or giving generalized comments to our child with a thought of motivating him we have to  change our thinking pattern. We should notice what is true of our child’s capabilities, what he or she has accomplished, learned and achieved.  This recognition nourishes a child’s inherent sense of self-worth, the understanding that he or she possesses certain gifts, and it is her responsibility to share with rest of the world. (continued)