Today, women entrepreneurs juggle boardrooms, funding pitches, and team dynamics. Negotiation isn’t optional; it’s essential. Yet, for every uncomfortable pause, a woman hesitates, fearing she may come across as “bossy” or, worse still, aggressive. The truth? Assertiveness builds empires, while aggression burns bridges. Harvard Business Review studies underpin that women who negotiate assertively earn up to 30% more on salaries and deals-but only when they strike the right balance.
This book gives you the core skills to negotiate with confidence-be it closing a deal with a client, raising venture capital, or fighting for your team’s needs. Shake off the stereotypes; claim your power.
‘The Assertive Edge: Why Women Excel When They Own It’
Assertiveness means clearly stating your value without apology or attack. It’s not about volume; it’s about precision. According to McKinsey, women leaders who negotiate assertively see 20% higher team performance because they foster trust, not tension.
Scenario: You are pitching your eco-friendly skincare brand to investors. Aggressive? “Give me the funding or I’ll walk.” Assertive? “Based on our 40% YoY growth, a $500K investment unlocks 3x returns—let’s discuss terms.” What’s the difference? One demands; one collaborates.
Women are often hit with a “likeability penalty,” a term coined by negotiators Hannah Riley Bowles and Linda Babcock-where assertiveness gets labeled pushy. And counter it by framing negotiations in terms of mutual wins-a natural use of your strengths in empathy and relationship-building.
Skill 1: Master the BATNA—Your Best Secret Weapon
Every negotiation starts with your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement, BATNA. Know your walk-away power, and you’ll never beg.
Build it strong: Research the market for industry standards (using tools like Glassdoor or Levels.fyi) before negotiating salaries. And for freelance work? Have two contingency clients lined up.
“I’m looking forward to this opportunity, but I also have BATNA to accept a 25% higher counteroffer from Competitor X. Can we start to see if we might meet around 120K + equity?”
For women: You can pair this with questions like “What flexibility do you have?” This helps keep you in a more collaborative mode instead of a competitive mode.
Take the example of Sara Blakley of Spanx. She has managed to create a billion-dollar business by always keeping her BATNA in mind in her negotiation deals.
Trait 2: Anchor High, But With Elegance
Establish the tone by opening with a strong (yet realistic) number. Findings from the Columbia Business School reveal first offer outcomes are impactful by 65%.
How to do it: Look into market-based data anchors. In a contract with a supplier, negotiate 20% below what you are targeting.
Be assertive: “Our volume business justifies paying $10 per unit—here’s the data. What’s your
Do not be aggressive.
Skip the ultimatum.
Do not come on too forcefully; avoid being aggressive.
Indra Nooyi, former PepsiCo CEO, anchored high in trillion-dollar deals saying, “This is what we need to win together,” making negotiations a partnership.
Skill 3: Building Alliances through “We” Language
“Aggression isolates, while assertiveness serves to unite. From ‘I want’ to ‘We can achieve.'”
“Phrases that work”
How it is empowering to women: It overcomes bias, putting you forward as a leader who uplifts all.
Skill 4: Silence Is Your Power Move
And after you articulate your ask, pause. Let the silence work. Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman explains: “Discomfort in silence reveals flexibility in the other person.”
Practice: In your next vendor’s meeting, suggest some terms, smile, and wait. All too often, all the agreement will happen in those 10 seconds.
Apply Skill 5: Practice Radical Self-Pre
Women negotiate 20% less than men, according to “Lean In,” because of under prep. Flip It:
Role-play with your mentor or mirror—record using HeyGen for feedback with AI.
Visualize Success: Players such as Serena Williams employ this when it comes to critical situations.
However, I would
Keep track of your wins in a Notion Journal to boost your confidence.
Real World Wins | Pitch To Profit
Think of Whitney Wolfe Herd, the founder of Bumble. She won a $1B IPO deal by being bold—tough on valuations, using the ‘we’ approach, and aware of her BATNA. Outcome? The youngest female billionaire self-made.
You can too. You have to negotiate a coffee run (free upgrade by charm) to negotiate a six-figure deal.
Your Action Plan: Negotiate Like a Boss Today
Week 1: Review previous negotiation experiences, find assertiveness adjustments.
Week 2: Construct BATNAs for your top 3 opportunities.
Ongoing: Join women-led networks like Ellevate or Chief for practice. Assertiveness isn’t innate—it’s a skill you claim. Step into negotiations as the empowered leader you are. Your business, team, and bank account will thank you. Ready to level up? Share your biggest negotiation win in the comments!
Aastha Pathak
Intern Womenlines
Also read: Women’s Leadership Revolution: How to Leverage Biohacking for Peak Performance
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