Womenlines welcomes Anji Hallewell as an Influencer of Positive Mindset on the Womenlines panel. Anji is a Natural Strengths Coach, Trainer, and Founder of Hidden Lava. In her sharing for this month, Anji is talking about how resistance can become your biggest opponent-
Last year, I hosted a talk where only 16% of those who registered attended (note to self: don’t hold a talk on a bank holiday Eve!). What this really highlights is the power of people’s RESISTANCE. You see all 100% of people started off in the same place; they had an intention to attend because something peaked their interest. Despite something resonating with them, a whopping 84% of those people decided not to come on the day. Perhaps they were tired after a hard day’s work, had another social offer that night or simply didn’t want to walk in the room alone. Whatever the individual reasons were, the truth here is that all 84% of those people allowed their resistance to win by listening to the excuses it created to stop them from growing.
Guardian of Your Parameters
Your resistance has learnt what your zone of comfort is and where the parameters are. This overprotective guardian sees its job as to keep you inside those walls. When you have ideas about stepping out, your resistance receives an alarm signal, to which it must defend.
Resistance is part of your identity, of which you have been perfecting since birth. You see your identity is made up of a few different components, some good and some not so good. You have strengths, negative traits and psychological resistance. We all have fear, worry, doubt within us, but how much does it lead your decisions?
When it Shows up
If you want to make a big change in your life, let’s say to switch careers, you will feel emotion rising that makes you rethink your original desire – that’s resistance. And resistance has a plethora of tactics up its sleeve which are designed to stop you in your tracks – fear, doubt, anxiety, procrastination. Resistance is defending the castle walls every single day, and until you become aware of it, you will never be the owner of your own destiny. Until you decide that you are going to consciously take control of your decisions, rather than your resistance calling the shots, it will dictate your life.
Beyond the Fictitious Wall
We’ve all experienced events in our lives that have instantly pushed us beyond the fear, doubt and worry. It’s as if we saw through it, enough to bypass its hold. So, what is that? What have we engaged with or shed to bring that shift in our thought process? Beyond the wall is a part of us that is full of knowledge, clarity and courage to progress in life. It’s the place where your natural strengths and talents also lie. But does it just have to be the big events in life for us to push past this and listen to what it is that we really want? Well, I hope not as that would just be tragic.
There is certainly another way to bypass the resistance, but first, you need to face it. Resistance is a strong force in which you can not fight or ignore. In martial arts, the first thing that happens in the Dojo is for both opponents to face one another, By looking each other in the eye, they are acknowledging that they see one another. This is what you must do with resistance. You must look it in the eye to let it know that you see it. When you truly acknowledge it, you can decide whether you want to keep giving it your energy. What you are actually doing here is deciding whether you believe the story that it has been telling you. That disengagement will be enough for you to use its strength to take it down and connect to your natural strengths.
Coach, Trainer & Founder
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