Womenlines takes pleasure to share about Leadership Coach Sally Anderson as a guest influencer for Leadership at Womenlines panel from New Zealand. Sally has privately coached key influencers internationally: CEO’s/executive teams/C-Suite forums/entrepreneurs/celebrities/politicians/millionaires/billionaires over 20 years. This week Sally is sharing insights related to a thought-provoking question that ‘ What Would Your Life Look Like If You Didn’t Tolerate Anything That Was Not Working?’-
Interesting question right? The look on clients faces when I first pose this question is ALWAYS classic!
Confusion is the first default response – what do you mean Sally? Is that really possible?
Yep you bet, let me explain….
All very well to get clear on what your goals are but what’s the point unless you unearth the undercurrent pulling you in the opposite direction aka ‘what you tolerate’ – distinction toleration: Persistent Complaint
I believe most human beings have a minimum of 50 tolerations, yep 50, even if I do not know you I could identify what they are based on research through the 1000’s of people I have had the privilege to coach over 3 decades and basically it just comes with the ‘human territory’.
What are they? Here are the main ones:-
- Financial tolerations
- Relationship tolerations
- Behavioural tolerations
- Attitudinal tolerations
- Family & Friends tolerations
- Organisational Tolerations
We all have them and we operate over the top to them EVERYDAY
- I walk into the bathroom and that door handle I have been meaning to fix for over a year isn’t fixed and I keep complaining about the fact that I have been meaning to fix but never do – that’s a toleration
- Every time I get into my car and it’s a mess and I have been meaning to get it valeted or clean it myself, that’s a toleration
- I know I should not worry but I keep worrying – that’s an attitudinal toleration – the cost is rife
- That holiday that I keep saying I want to book but never do – that’s a toleration
- Chasing clients for payment constantly and not setting financial boundaries/protocol on acceptable standards – that’s a toleration
- Wearing lingerie and holey socks saying that you need to buy new lingerie/socks but never do – that’s a toleration
- Saying that you want to save but you never do – that’s a toleration
- Saying you wish to give up smoking, cut down on your drinking but give lip service – that’s a toleration
- Saying you wish to lose weight but 2, 5 10 years later still talking about it – that’s a toleration
- Operating over the top of relationship issues – that’s a toleration
- Clutter all over the place, complaining about it but not doing anything about it – that’s a toleration
- Destructive inner critic dialogue, talking negatively to yourself without getting healing to STOP this crazy destructive dynamic – this is a toleration
- Allowing your past being in your future, year after year, decade after decade and not doing the healing – this is a toleration
- Not earning what you wish to earn – that’s a toleration
- Being single over a long period of time, never falling in love (genuinely) and never finding love and an intimate relationship – that’s a toleration
- Never finding out what you are passionate about, hanging out in confusion – that’s a toleration
- Being stuck in corporate yearning to go out on your own but not doing anything about it – that’s a toleration
- Writing that book that you have always dreamed about but never writing it – that’s a toleration
- Looking at that bloody vision board but never achieving what’s on it – that’s a toleration
- Living in constant overwhelm and frustration with everything you say you are committed to accomplishing but never having a breakthrough with this dynamic – that’s a toleration
- Saying that you are not good at closing, knowing the impact this has on your bottomline and not getting more proficient at the skill of closing – this is a toleration
- Complaining about Mondays, feeling disempowered by Mondayitis – thats a toleration
You get the gist, could keep going…
Tolerations can be BIG or SMALL but they are irritating, annoying, frustrating, constant
Step#1 – Unearth what they are
Step#2 – Go to work on them with timeline and action – keep chipping away each, week/month
Cycle the process every 3-6 months
and if you do not then just get that you are more committed to sabotage! Raw truth!
Whatever you complain about persistently is a toleration and folks if you are complaining about it, you LOVE IT! Why because you keep it in place! Just bloody ludicrous but all human beings do it!
There is a difference to being committed to what is yet to materialise and complaining about it but doing nothing about it!
I personally do not complain, why, because I know that I have choice moment by moment what my world looks like and I am not committed to spending time into negative affirmations, it’s just crazy!
I am frustrated at a level with standard coaching that blindly focus on goal setting devoid of unearthing tolerations for unless distinguished it is energy that is constantly taking you in the opposite direction to your goals!
Living a complaint free life is priceless….do not get me wrong there are many things that I am yet to accomplish in my life but I am vigilant with not complaining about it – I know the importance of beliefs, language and resonance and take responsibility in accordance. I am the creator of my reality moment by moment and do not have time to complain PERIOD – it also stops ANY drama in your life, how refreshing is that as a reality!
Bottomline – if you are not committed to rectifying what is not working, STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT IT!
Food for thought today!
CEO/C-Suite Leadership Coach
Sally partner’s CEO’s/C-Suite Leadership Executives/Key Influencer’s Achieve Unprecedented ‘Sustainable’ RESULTS!